Having To Make A Dreadful Decision

[dal55]

You obviously love him so very much, you will make the right decision. My heart goes out to you XXXXX
 

[JeffD]

My thoughts are with you guys, I have been there to many times and I only feel bad about one dog who I should have let go earlier. I now say a week to early is better than a day to late.
In a way we are fortunate in being legally allowed to let our beloved dogs go with some dignity when the time is right, an option not open to us humans.

[lynnruby]

My heart goes out to you Rob  it is such a difficult to decision to make, but I have to agree with everything Jeff has said. You will know and he will tell you when it's time to go ........

 

 

[HayleyJB]

I really feel for you Robbie.  I was in exactly the same position 2 years ago.  Jezzie was coming up to her 17th birthday, she had dementia & was incontinent plus she had lost most of the muscle tone in her back legs following a spinal op some years before.  This had been a gradual deterioration but she got worse & worse until at the end she sometimes couldn't walk far without sitting down as her legs gave way.  She couldn't get out of her bed without my help.  Looking back I now realise I let her go on too long but I loved her so much I didn't want her to leave me.  She wasn't the Jezzie I knew, she was an empty shell & everybody kept telling me I should let her go but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

In the end, after a particularly bad couple of days, I knew I had to do the unthinkable.  It was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do in my life and if I think about it too much I still cry (I'm crying now typing this) but I had to do it for Jezzie.  She had no quality of life anymore & I was keeping her alive for my own selfish reasons.  My other half was brilliant, he arranged it all, I knew I couldn't.  He booked us in at the local Pet Crematorium where we spent some time saying goodbye to her then we had her cremated & got her ashes back a few days later (I had them put in with Misty, her Mum's).

Have you looked at www.rainbowbridge.com? Under the section "Pet Loss Grief Support Centre" there is a link entitled "Making the Decision".  It was a great comfort to me and made a lot of sense.

Only you can decide what to do, and I know how very, very hard it is.  You obviously love Charley very much.

Thinking of you
X

[Robbie34]

I sill haven't made a decision.

The problem I have is that Charley isn't sick or in pain. If he were, I wouldn't hesitate.  He eats well, in fact he will eat almost anything, and he has no difficulty getting around.  His dementia is pitiful to see, and I wonder if I am contemplating putting him to sleep because it will make my life easier.  He has lost a lot of weight, which his vet said was due to dementia, even though he has a good appetite.  He is on a raw diet, and I feed him 300 gms of minced chicken - for his weight the feeding guide suggests 250 gm - plus, he has treats and any leftover meat from my meals.

I know his quality of life is poor: he won't let me cuddle him, he struggles and cries when I try to hold him. He is deaf and blind and incontinent.  It would be a great relief to me if he went, and this is my dilemma: having him put to sleep would be would be better for me.  I would be overwhelmed with guilt.

[JeffD]

Robbie, you say his quality of life is poor and you know its only going to get worse, never better so please stop with the guilt feelings. If you had the slightest suspicion that the Charlie was having good times as well as bad times with some quality of life you would put up with the bad times and I doubt you would have ever written your original post.
My heart truly goes out to you as its an awful position that most of us have to go through at some time as dog owners, it comes with the job when you have dogs.
I do not believe for one instant that you would have Charlie PTS just to make life easier.

[8 Hairy Feet]

Oh Robbie I'm so sorry to
read all this, such a difficult time...
nobody can make this decision
for you, a dilemma indeed.
Big hugs for you and Charley,
sending you both all my love...
steffxxx

[elaine.e]

Robbie, please, please put aside your own feelings for a minute and look at what you've just written. Poor old Charley has no quality of life. He's deaf, blind, demented and incontinent. He doesn't even want to be held or cuddled anymore, which speaks volumes to me. The poor little soul is trapped in a body and mind that have given up on him.

It's a dreadful position to be in, but please put your guilty feelings aside and focus on Charley and what's best for him. Nobody is going to think that you'd be having Charley PTS just to make your life easier.

[Patp]

I am so sorry you are going through this.

The only words I can give you which I read on here was that it was better to be a month too early than an hour too late.  These are words I have repeated on a couple of occasions to other animal lovers.

Personally, I would prefer to be able to decide on the when, where, who with etc than allow an undignified end possibly alone and in a strange place.

 

[Poppsie]

Robbie, please, please put aside your own feelings for a minute and look at what you've just written. Poor old Charley has no quality of life. He's deaf, blind, demented and incontinent. He doesn't even want to be held or cuddled anymore, which speaks volumes to me. The poor little soul is trapped in a body and mind that have given up on him.

It's a dreadful position to be in, but please put your guilty feelings aside and focus on Charley and what's best for him. Nobody is going to think that you'd be having Charley PTS just to make your life easier.

Awww Robbie I whole heartily agree with Elaine on this  but at the end of the day only YOU can decide what is best for your Charley  it is heart breaking having to say goodbye  but sometimes we have to put our feelings to one side and think what is best for our fur baby's  we are here for you what ever you decide
  x x x

[aliceandlouis]

Robbie, please, please put aside your own feelings for a minute and look at what you've just written. Poor old Charley has no quality of life. He's deaf, blind, demented and incontinent. He doesn't even want to be held or cuddled anymore, which speaks volumes to me. The poor little soul is trapped in a body and mind that have given up on him.

It's a dreadful position to be in, but please put your guilty feelings aside and focus on Charley and what's best for him. Nobody is going to think that you'd be having Charley PTS just to make your life easier.

Elaine has summed up my feelings entirely Robbie - having Charley PTS, whilst difficult for you I acknowledge, is the right thing to do given his current quality of life.  You say he isn't sick or in pain but he is - he has dementia and for whatever reason is incontinent and cries when you try to hold or cuddle him - which is not how healthy dogs are.  In my book you would not be doing this just to make life easier for yourself - yes, that would an outcome of the whole thing - but you would be doing it out of love and kindness for Charley.  He needs to be released Robbie and that is the last act of responsible ownership you can give Charley to thank him for the years of joy and love he has shared with you.  I wish you well.

[Joules]

Robbie, please take on board what Elaine and everyone else has said - I don't want to sound harsh, but you need to do the right thing for Charley, he has no quality of life or pleasure - his life has become intolerable    You surely must know that the kindest thing to do is to release him now 

[Redked]

Yes I know how you feel totally. I too felt that guilt. Out vet wouldn't advise us but he did say 'it is not just about the quality of life for Callie, you also have to think about the quality of life for your family'. This was hard to take in but again, with hindsight, it was a very true statement. You may feel guilt but you really have nothing to be guilty about. You have given your dog the most wonderful years, a happy, healthy loving home and total devotion whilst ill. It is your decision but you really should think about your quality of life as well-it is not selfish, just realistic. Good luck and lots of 

[MIN]

It would be so much easier if our babes could make the decision for us.
 But they cant, so we must step up and be brave. Charley darling has had a good life and now it his time to sleep and dream. please say goodnight and have no thoughts about guilt. Charley will not hold it against you and neither ( if it matters) will anybody else

[JohnK]

Robbie

Nobody hates being God more than me, but there reaches a time in a dogs life when you really do need to make that heart breaking decision.

I've often heard it said, better a day early than a day late. How true that is, we had two cats that lived until they were 17, Pooh the first one was struggling, but we kept her going then suddenly she suffered a total organ failure and was in terrible pain and I had to play God. Winnie was also struggling and again suffered a total organ failure and was in terrible pain, but she died in my arms before I reached the vets. I vowed this would never happen with my dogs and it never has. Once your dog loses its dignity, you have to help him or her over the bridge, it is the most special act of kindness you can give.