Having To Make A Dreadful Decision

[Carolynleah]

It would be so much easier if our babes could make the decision for us.
 But they cant, so we must step up and be brave. Charley darling has had a good life and now it his time to sleep and dream. please say goodnight and have no thoughts about guilt. Charley will not hold it against you and neither ( if it matters) will anybody else

I can only agree, and send lots of hugs.

[henryjack1dogs]

Robbie I so feel for you....No one can make this decision but you, take care of yourself and remember sometimes words typed on these forums can seem blunt and harsh but they aren't meant in that way.

[Ben's mum]

Robbie, please, please put aside your own feelings for a minute and look at what you've just written. Poor old Charley has no quality of life. He's deaf, blind, demented and incontinent. He doesn't even want to be held or cuddled anymore, which speaks volumes to me. The poor little soul is trapped in a body and mind that have given up on him.

It's a dreadful position to be in, but please put your guilty feelings aside and focus on Charley and what's best for him. Nobody is going to think that you'd be having Charley PTS just to make your life easier.

I too agree completely with Elaine.  I am so so sad for you having to go through this but keeping Charley with you just because you can not make the decision is not very fair on him and from what you have posted before its clear you love him very much   I find it distressing to think of Charley being so confused he no longer wants a cuddle.   for you, but please think about what you are doing to Charley.

[Cockertime Blues]

Robbie, I too am sitting here having a quiet blub about what you and Charley are going through.  Please do it - for both your sakes but most especially for Charley.  Only you can take him through the end of life and make it as easy as possible for him.  Dogs are luckier than humans in this as we can do it for them.  Most of us on this board have had to do it and know how painful it is, but afterwards we know we did the right thing.  I for one am crying again.  All the best, Diane

[Jan D]

Robbie - ask yourself this question - Is Charley getting any pleasure out of his life now? It is a horrendous decision to make but if the honest answer to that is no then I think you know what must be done. I can't even imagine what you are going through and when it comes to that time with either one of mine I am going to try to find every reason going why not to do it. The guilt you will feel will ease in time as will the sorrow and mourning for your loss. I know it doesn't help at all but it has to be your decision and maybe something will happen soon to trigger you making that decision. Thinking of you 

[fionad]

I recently had to make the decision to let our dear border collie go to the bridge. She was still walking,eating and had all her faculties. Her heart was failing rapidly which meant that any slight exertion caused to her to pant and faint old cold. In that last week this would be just trotting into the garden to do a wee. We would hold her until she came round.

Hard as it was, I would not stand by and watch her deteriorate further. She could have had a heart attack at any time and I didn't want her to go in pain and panic.

I had the vet come to our house and Sophie didn't know that that morning would be her last. I enjoyed her in the garde sunshine before the vet came. She sedated Sophie which meant she dozed off as I cuddled her and when she was deeply asleep the vet administered the drug to send her to the bridge. It was all very calm.

I miss her terribly but I know I did my best for her, not for myself. She had good quality of life with us from seven weeks until she was thirteen. I would not prolong her life just for the sake of it.

Are you scared of the process of putting your dog to sleep? Talking to your vet or taking a friend with you might help.

[caro]

Hi, I remember you posting something similar in December - at that time you said that Charley didn't have quality of life.  It really is a difficult thing for you to decide, but you need to do what is best for him.

I really do feel for you - I had to have my cat PTS in December and it was awful, she had kidney failure and there was nothing that could be done, so in a way it was an easy decision to make, but nonetheless it was the most awful thing I've ever had to do.

People on here have said some lovely things, which I hope give you comfort.

Thinking of you and Charley - lots of love xx

[fiona2]

Robbie imm going to be blunt and to the point its time to let go. you said yourself he has no quality of life let him go with the little dignity he has left . the feelings of guilt you are feeling are not good enough reasons to keep him carrying on but your love for him is reason enough for him to make his journey where he will wait for you. all my love fiona

[Archie bean]

Robbie it's such a tough time for you. I hope that what I'm about to say makes sense. I believe that the feelings you are having are part of the natural denial process to try to save yourself from grief. If we know that a decision is going to cause us huge emotional pain, then the brain will rationalise things and come up with a reason to convince us that it is the wrong decision. As hard as it is you must step back and see that you would not be making the decision to say goodbye to Charley in order to make your life easier. In fact you are avoiding making this decision order to save yourself pain. This is perfectly normal. Your brain is thinking that the way things are now, however distressing, cannot be as bad as letting him go. This may be true for you but it really is the only decision that is right for Charley. 

[Holly Berry]

This is the hardest decision a responsible and loving pet owner can ever make and one we have to accept when we give them a place in our heart and life. For me a dog knows only quality of life and not quantity. They live in the moment and unlike us don't think about tomorrow or reminice or harp back. If it was left up to him now he would probably wander off to find a comfortable place to lie down and would gradually fade away. You have the ability through love to make that fading as quick, comfortable and painless as possible. That surely is the most selfless act of love you can do for him. Please don't let him suffer because you want to have one more day with him. I've been in your shoes many times and it doesn't mean the decision gets easier, but it has made me realise I have to do what's best for them,not me. 

[Shazill]

May be this poem will help:

If it should be that I grow weak,
 And pain should keep me from my sleep,
 Then you must do what must be done,
 For this last battle cannot be won.

You will be sad, I understand;
 Don't let your grief then stay your hand.
 For this day more than all the rest,
 Your love for me must stand the test.

We've had so many happy years -
 What is to come can hold no fears.
 You'd not want me to suffer so;
 The time has come, so let me go.

Take me where my needs they'll tend
 And please stay with me until the end.
 Hold me firm and speak to me
 Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time that you will see
 The kindness that you did for me.
 Although my tail its last has waved,
 From pain and suffering I've been saved.

 Please do not grieve - it must be you
 Who had this painful thing to do.
 We've been so close, we two, these years -
 Don't let your heart hold back its tears

[Countrygirl]

Oh Robbie, I just know what you are going through.

Honey, the cocker from next door who I have looked after for a long time whilst her mum was at work, had a growth on her lady bits which kept growing.  She was on medication for months but it still kept growing.  We knew the vet would not give her any more medication when he saw her, growths were starting to break out all over her, so we knew what would happen.  But Honey was not poorly in any way, so I know what you mean about Charley.  Honey would eat anything you put in front of her and squealed with excitement when she saw her lead.  The evening we went to the vets for the last time she was so excited about going in the car, had a good sniff around the vets car park and went into the vets quite happily.  It sounds awful but her mum & me were almost wishing for her to become poorly before the dreaded appointment, as we felt it would have made it easier. 

I will be honest with you, it nearly broke us, her mum and me, but I can honestly say that there has never been one minute when either of us have thought that we did the wrong thing for Honey.  We know it was the medication (steroids) that was keeping her well and we knew she could not carry on the way she was, it wouldn't have been fair on her and we would have been keeping her with us for us not for her.

My heart goes out to you, I know just how you are feeling and I feel so sorry for you.   

[williamsmum]

Robbie, only you can decide when the time is right, but it must be the right time for BOTH of you. I feel so sad for you both, and everyone who has loved and lost a pet is so familiar with this unique heartbreak. It truly is the most horrible decision anyone should ever have to make. I think that if it was my dear William I would have to let him go, but oh, that is so much easier to say than do! God bless you both. You are obviously a person who cares very, very deeply and your doggie will know that. It only hurts so much because we love them so. 

[ali2010]

Robbie, I too am sitting here having a quiet blub about what you and Charley are going through.  Please do it - for both your sakes but most especially for Charley.  Only you can take him through the end of life and make it as easy as possible for him.  Dogs are luckier than humans in this as we can do it for them.  Most of us on this board have had to do it and know how painful it is, but afterwards we know we did the right thing.  I for one am crying again.  All the best, Diane

Me too, keep looking at this thread and crying at your situation, I hadn't posted on this thread before, am not sure why but suppose I didn't know what to say.  How is Charley doing now? I really can't imagine what you are going through, its a situation we all dread but unfortunately most of us will go through it. My heart goes out to you

[Mary]

Robbie, you posted on here for advice about a very difficult decision. You've had overwhelming heartfelt responses with everyone in agreement on the way forward. Go with this advice, it wil be the kindest act you've ever done for Charley. Take care