when does the pain go?

[dog22]

I,m still so sad that I dont have Benji any more.anything sets me off be it his basket his bowl his food bag.i miss him so much and keep thinking i have to feed him or walk him or think he would like a ride in the car.i talk to him even though hes not here and say his name in all different ways thinking it will keep him near.am I mad?

[Eve]

So very  sorry at your loss. The pain never goes but does become more easy to bare. Thinking of you.

Eve x

[Elisa]

No you're not mad, you are grieving.  Everybody is different in how they react to grief and no timescale should ever be set.  Be kind to yourself and give yourself as much time as you need.  One day, you will realise that you are able to think of Benji, and smile.
 

[babushka]

It does get easier but we never forget I still cry now and it's been 5 years

[JennyBee]

It is still very early days for you (((hugs))). There were a couple of things that I found helped - talking with the rest of the family about all the good times you have had, and also writing the good memories down.  It just takes time, and even now some days are harder than others, but I can now mostly remember him with a smile on my face instead of tears.  Just take things easy, thinking of you

[t1gg3er]

You're not mad at all.  I've said, done & kept certain things in an attempt to keep our old dogs close to us.  I still have their collars & name tags but no other dog will ever be allowed to wear them.

Before coming on here I'd never heard of Rainbow Bridge & I love the idea that all the doggies who have left us are there waiting to meet us again when the time comes 

[johndoran]

The truest saying is that time is a great healer and you will find that eventually you will even be able to have a little chuckle to yourself about some of the things that have happened in the past. If your like me though i still get a little sad when i think of my previous pets at certain times. Take care

[bajoleth]

  The pain will lessen with time, and when it does it is then you realise that what they have left behind has more joy than pain, those lovely memories that will never fade, the time they shared with you was a gift , you will still shed a tear when those memories come flooding back but it will be a tear of joy and thanks for the time you had with them, take care and give yourself time

[KatieJean]

As others have said the pain just becomes easier to bear.
Take care and give yourself time.

[debrand]

Hugs to you (((())))
I miss poor wee Jet and I miss Barney even more (he was with me longer than Jet but also we battled his illness for so long together  )
The pain eases and we laugh often remembering the funny things both boys did. I also have my two girls who give me lots of licks and cuddles when I'm feeling down.
It is still very soon after losing Benji-go easy on yourself 

[Xensgirl]

Everyone who has lost a much loved companion knows how you feel - although that will not help your pain at the moment.  I lost my boy in 2004, and still get a lump in my throat now and again, but I smile when I remember the things he used to do and the character he was.

The memories you have are always yours, and will always be with you.  Its early days, give yourself time to grieve - and many people don't realise its "real" grief, you have lost a member of your family, someone who depended on you and gave you joy.

My thoughts are with you - keep your chin up and many many hugz from us  x

[6thSense]

Like everyone says you are in no way mad. You will never forget, but it does get easier. I have many pics of my old departed dogs and have Merlin who was my first Cocker and my absolute baby's first ever toy and his favourite toy that my brother bought him. It still makes me sad to think about him, but I can also smile at all the funny little things he used to do. I sprinkled his and the others ashes along the fence at our horses field and when I feel down I like to just walk along that fence and I feel he's with me, although I know he's always there. Just give yourself time. It is all so fresh. It will get easier. Try and remember the good times as I'm sure there are many. Take care of yourself.   

[Pudding]

I had a Birchen called Daisy she was my first dog, we all ways had a dog when I was at home with Mum and Dad and sisters.
As soon as I was in the position to have a dog I got one.
I did not want a big dog to start with.
She went every where with me where ever I was she was, work, friends house every where.
She had a lot of illnesses in her life, she had to have some baby teeth taken out, she had tear ducts unblocked, and she had a litter for puppies
4 but had to have a Section, then she was spayed, she had to have her
cruciate ligament in her leg done, she then had mammary lumps removed, she had loads and loads of warts, and the last was kidney failure.
She was 18 years old when I had to say good buy to her.
But about a year before she was very ill I decided to get a new dog
He was six months old when I got him, he was my salvation, with out him I do not think I would have coped as well as I have done, as she was my life, she is now at rest in the garden with my 2 cats.
I think of Daisy often. 

I think may be a new puppy will help you

This is Daisy with Bob He loved her as well

[Roslyn McConnell]

Well if you are mad then this forum is the hatter's tea party! 

I understand completely how you feel, I always get teary the week before my birthday as Dill died the week before my 21st (bad timing wee man!), and when I walk through a nice park or wood and I always think how much he wouldve loved it and get sad he never got to do it 

But when I feel sad I try to turn it round and look at all the good times, would I swap my time with him for not missing him...NO way! cause in time the sadness starts to turn into smiles like when I see a cocker dashing around like a maddy it reminds me of when Dill was being crazy and I start to laugh.

Dont look at it as missing what you've lost look at it as remembering what you had and in away still have because when u remember someone/some doggy they never really go away 

I hope you feel better soon 

[dog22]

Thankyou very much for all your kind replies and the photos are lovely.my oh and i arent able to talk about Benji as he gets annoyed that I havnt learnt to deal with it yet.He thinks i should be coping better than I am.Last night we had a loud altercation shall I call it because he said he wanted to do things and if I got another dog he would just go and do things without me as he wasnt going to be tied by another animal.He said he never wanted animals and when the kids were younger it was allright but not any more.He was his usual nasty self about it and laid it on the line.So I wouldnt consider bringing another dog into the house as his feelings have been made perfectly clear.Its not so much having a dog i miss its Benji himself and his own special ways.oh wants to go walking of all things well to me walking includes a dog.If he had said he wanted to go travelling or to art galleries then of course a dog would be a problem.But walking??when i walk i expect to see Benj plodding along with me not an empty space.