What Would You Do?

[JoHarborne]

Earlier this year we spent three days with my in-laws in Devon and it was the first time they'd met Woody.  He was incredibly well behaved and both my in-laws bonded with him .. or so I thought!  We enjoyed family walks and there were no little accidents or any episodes of puppy destruction - it all went very well.  

Since then they've visited us once and again - we all had a good time.  My M-I-L did try and tell me how to deal with Woody on a few occasions but I accepted her advice gracefully and only ignored it after she'd gone.  

So - here's the rub.

We've just asked if we could go down again to stay with them and in their reply, Woody was referred to as "the dog".  The final line of the email said, and I have great pleasure in quoting here:

"We are unable to offer overnight accommodation to dogs".  

My husband has banned me from replying because I'm LEAPING MAD.   What on earth can we do?  Not visit again until Woody's gone to the Rainbow Bridge?!  

Any advice?  Anyone else's family refusing to accept a dog being around?

[cbabe]

Write back 'love me,love my dog'

or drop him in to me on your way past and i'll babysit!!!!!!

incidently father in law lives in Devon - we are welcome, dogs and all! Brother in law lives in Poole and has made it politely clear that he would rather not have dogs in his house - so they go to stay with my mum!!!

Clare

[scoobie]

I would be livid as well Jo I'm sorry but like Clare says love me love my dog
 

[Sheryl]

Sorry, my reply would be mostly made up of effs  

[cindere528]

If Woody can't go with you, then refuse to accept their invitation.  If it was something such as a family crisis, illness, bereavement, etc, it would be different, but just a normal family visit, I don't understand why they won't accept him staying with you.  

[TOPAZ BILLY]

I would be tempted to ask why?   though you say your last visits have been without a hitch maybe something   upset your MIL , doggy smell maybe? did anyone forget to clean up after him in the garden?  Her phrasing of "We are unable to offer overnight accommodation to dogs" sounds a bit like a hotel?

Or do what I do and have no contact with MIL except for cards at Christmas and Birthdays

Michelle

[subeeloo]

Sorry, my reply would be mostly made up of effs

Sorry, my reply would be mostly made up of effs

            !!!!!!!!!!
Me too!!!!

[Sheila]

Just sounds rude to me, it could have been phrased more kindly.
I'd be tempted to not go and stay at home with my dog.

[subeeloo]

Or do what I do and have no contact with MIL except for cards at Christmas and Birthdays

Michelle

........lucky you....it's my 'outlaws' anniversary tomorrow, always hate going over with a card and present, I always feel it's never appreciated!! My OH always tells me not to bother, but if I didn't I'd get called rotten to his sister!!!        

[Colin]

That's a real shame, especially as Woody behaved so well there last time.

I'd be inclined to wait until your anger has subsided and then try, as diplomatically as possible, to find out just what exactly their objections to him are - it certainly doesn't seem like there is anything to justify their reaction. The trouble with some people is that if you tell them exacly how you feel then they will just dig their heels in even further and things accelerate out of control. Maybe they were jealous of the attention that Woody got from you ?

Having said that, I'd only go to places where my dogs were welcome. Luckily we haven't been turned away from anywhere yet.  

[sweetie]

i would also ask why he wasn,t welcome ,and after that i wouldn,t bother,,like said before love me love my dogs
poor woody, doesn,t even no he,s not welcome there anymore,,  

[Sharon]

I have the same problem with my in-laws.  2 years ago their cavalier died and ever since they have become very house proud.  Now if we call to say we are visiting, they ask us not to take the dogs, they live next to a beach so during the summer it was a great day out, nice long walks along the beach.......then back to the in-laws for dinner.

But not any more, so for that reason, when OH wants to visit his parents he takes the children and I stay at home.  I haven't seen them now since Christmas 2002 and don't intend to either until they accept us as a job lot    

[Tracey J]

Or do what I do and have no contact with MIL except for cards at Christmas and Birthdays

We don't even have that amount of contact    - long story   .

I would (once the blind anger had subsided ) contact her and ask what the problem is with Woody visiting, citing the fact that it's been great so far.

It's such a slap in the face when people don't accept your dogs.  I have trouble taking mine to my parents, but only because of my dad's allergies.  The dogs are welcome but my dad has to wear rubber gloves and long sleeved tops when they're about .

Your only alternative would be to find a dog-friendly b&b in the area, but if that's their attitude I'd find it difficult to visit them with the knowledge that they have a problem with him.

Hope you find a solution.

[Maria]

I think I'd be inclined to say 'fair enough, we won't visit you anymore, but you are welcome here', and explain that as far as you are concerned, Woody is much a part of your family as any child would be.  Maybe there is some jealousy, or they found a stray dog hair after you left. Their loss though.
Personally. we wouldn't go anywhere where Boysie wasn't welcome.....

[*Jay*]

If it was a member of my family saying that I couldn't bring my dogs, they would get told where to shove it  But then we are not a close family so its no skin off my nose  But if you get on well with your in-laws it would be a shame to ruin that  Hmmmm difficult one - if I were you, I would do as Colin suggested and try and get out of them exactly what the problem is with Woody staying over. Poor boy - she wants to try having my lot for a night  Woody would be welcomed with open arms then