What Would You Do?

[lizzy]

Send OH on his own and you have a lovely time with Woody!


Cheeky so and so!!  

[Cob-Web]

Oh dear, poor you Jo!

I will PM you later with the saga of my in-laws, but in general friction from in-laws comes with regard to dogs OR children.

If your m-i-l was trying to advice you on how to handle Woody, and you have chosen not to take her advice, then in her eyes she probably feels perfectly entitled to refuse him from her home    To be honest, I wouldn't welcome anyone with a cat into my home; its my personal preference not to.

As others have said, she may not realise the implications; that she is refusing you from her home, too. Careful not to get your OH stuck in the middle though; thats not going to be good for anyone!

Take care, and I'll catch up with you soon

 

[Dog Mad]

Look on the positive side, you now have the best excuse as to why you can't visit  

 

[JoHarborne]

Gosh guys thanks for all the responses!  

My husband has just visited the Forum for the first time to read all your posts and he was grinning from ear to ear when he finished!!  

He's says we should take the "take us or leave us" approach that many of you suggested and if we don't visit for a few months they might change their tune!!

Interestingly I should point out that my M-I-L actually had a Cocker Spaniel when she was a teenager so I'm even more astounded at her attitude.   My F-I-Law was anti-cats but that didn't stop us getting two and he gets on extremely well with them.  

And the other thing I didn't tell you was that ... get this .... they treat their only two grandchildren with pretty much the same attitude as Woody is getting!!    

Guess it'll be a quiet Christmas at home this year then ....!!!

[Magic Star]

Jo I feel for you, my F I L phoned today for the first time in over a year, he wanted his sisters phone number, he didn't even ask after his grandchildren   Selfish pig!  

[Tidge]

yes I think I would say OK, but when they next want to visit you, ask them where they are intending to stay, because it works both ways, they can't accept the dog in your house but not in their own.  Its like saying father in law can come but leave the mother in law at home.

[Shirley]

You poor thing, Jo - it is such a dilemma isn't it!!  I'd be inclined to go with the diplomatic approach to start with and try to find out what she has against Woody.  I wouldn't under any circumstances go without him, though - as there would only be underlying resentment if you think she's unjustified in her reasons for not welcoming him, so the trip would be pointless.

If she's not keen on Woody then she won't be expecting you to put her up when she comes to visit you.  So your other option is to send her an e-mail back with a photo of Woody and this poem:

This is our dog
This is his home
From which we hope
He’ll never roam

He's a faithful friend
We love him best
This is his home
You are a guest

If dogs to you
Are just a peeve
Then by all means
Feel free to leave!!

Finished off with the line "We're terribly sorry but we feel unable to accommodate non-dog friendly mothers-in-law"  

I wouldn't go anywhere that my two weren't welcome but my family is split quite conveniently into those who are happy to see me and my dogs and those who aren't fussed to see me with or without dogs   .  I think all families have a branch like this - unfortunately I've got to go out to dinner with my branch on Thursday night   ::  

Good luck whatever you decide to do.  Although sometimes it's unavoidable, it's never nice to have bad feelings within a family.
 

[s baxter]

arrr you poor thing i`d be devastated if someone reacted like that about my Alfie,and he wouldn`t even behave ,thats a fact just pop him into us if you have to(by pain of death) visit the outlaws,Alfie and woody would have a ball but he may teach woody a few naughty things ::  

[charlie771]

I'm with all those that say "LOVE ME, LOVE MY DOG" they are part of the family, you wouldn't be expected to leave your kids at home!  

Sorry to hear your having this trouble I do hope it sort's itself out.

[Cob-Web]

you wouldn't be expected to leave your kids at home! 

Don't you believe it - I have been expected to

[subeeloo]

yes I think I would say OK, but when they next want to visit you, ask them where they are intending to stay, because it works both ways, they can't accept the dog in your house but not in their own.  Its like saying father in law can come but leave the mother in law at home.

      !!!!!!!!!

[sweetie]

    ,very good point  

[JoHarborne]

I love the poem Shirley - I think that may be a very diplomatic way of putting our point across.   Woody is very much a part of our family and we are not prepared to go anywhere he is not welcome.  And my in-laws live 2.5 hours away so we definitely couldn't leave Woody behind and just "pop in".  

I've told my husband that as far as I'm concerned, for the short-term at least, his parents are not welcome here.  He said he doubted they would want to come unless we shut Woody in the garden during their visit.   These are the same parents-in-law who initially said that Woody would have to sleep in the garage when we first visited!!!   I think my reply was somewhere along the lines of "no pedigree dog of mine is sleeping in a bl**dy garage" and successfully negotiated the kitchen!!  

We will see how this one pans out but for the moment, we're standing firm.  Either Woody comes with us or we just won't visit.  

 

[taniac]

My MIL puts the cat in a cattery when we go up to Herefordshire so we can take the dogs...  The cat could handle Neo but Jovi has this 'big love' thing going on for cats and it would be unfair on her to try and deal with him constant attention.

When hubby and I were going on our honeymoon, my parents told us they wouldn't have the dogs.. It's my fault really because they were fine with sitting one, but told me if I got another then they weren't looking after two.  Well as you all know, I went ahead and got another dog (like I was not going to), and thought they would change their minds once he was here, as my Dad is a sucker for animals.

I think my parents thought that two dogs in the house would be a nightmare, like having 2 toddlers tearing around.  When we went over for dinner and they saw how they just lay down and went to sleep most of the time then it calmed them down (my 2 are much less trouble then my sisters Staff).

We reached a compromise where they had them for one week and for the other my friends had them overnight and left them at my house during the day in familiar surrounding, and then I arranged a dog walker to come in and take them out with her (she's a friend so she was willing to be flexible for me).

I am careful not to put on my parents to often, as they are my dogs and my responsibility.  I'm sure that Dad caved in when he realised how much it would cost us to put them into kennels, when he knew how much I'd spent on the wedding already!!!  

[Sheryl]

Poor Jo   However, this is all very much their loss.  You should think yourself lucky, my ex Mother in law used to take the same attitude over her granddaughter   Not her Grandson though.  At least your OH is willing to stand by whatever decision you make.  My ex hubby was so spineless he couldn't stand up straight