Author Topic: Night time advice for a newbie please  (Read 862 times)

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Offline MrsFlintstone

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Night time advice for a newbie please
« on: April 26, 2021, 09:09:54 PM »
Hi Everyone 👋 first time poster here!

I'm a new Cocker owner after waiting 20 years to talk my husband into a dog! Our gorgeous girl Bonny is now 12 weeks and is doing great in almost every way but I'm concerned I may have made a few mistakes with her night time routine.

We started off with her in a play pen in my 17 year old's room, total disaster! He slept like a stone, didn't hear her at all and then had her in bed with him. Cue plan B...

We tried a crate in our bedroom for a few nights. Well I understand that crying is to be expected but her stamina was truly spectacular, hours and hours of crying, we are both a soft touch so of  course we let her out and into our bed :buttkick:

My husband wasn't too happy with this arrangement so we agreed plan C...

So into a bed in our bedroom she went. There is sometimes a bit of fussing to get into bed with us but on the whole she settles. The problem now is that she still tries to get in with us and I reckon we have approximately 2 weeks before she is big enough to get her own way... Bonny's plan D.

Now tbh I' d be quite happy to commit the sin of allowing her onto our bed but my beloved isn't keen on this idea and I do understand his objections!

What do most of you guys do? From what I have read crates are very popular but I just don't think Bonny will accept one (she uses it to stash her toys but doesn't sleep in there). Am I making a miserable mistake or shall I give in ?

Thanks for reading   :D




Offline cazza

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Re: Night time advice for a newbie please
« Reply #1 on: April 27, 2021, 07:50:07 AM »
Hi and welcome

Can I ask first of all how long have you had Bonnie? As if from 8 weeks and all these changes to her night time routine, sounds to me as if you will have mad a rod for your own back - sorry  :shades:

You need to agree on what the bed time routine will be and stick to it. Yes there may be tears and tantrums (whining and barking) but it will get better

I crated my 13 week old at night from day 1 of her being here. I give her all her meals in her crate, which is in the kitchen (door open).

She is now in the routine that around 10pm she goes out for toilet and then runs into her crate, she is given a few bits of her kibble and I close the door, turn the light off and leave the kitchen door ajar with the hall light remaining on.

Around 12am she is let out for toilet and straight back to her crate (no fuss is made of her, my son does this one for me) then we get up (minus son of course  :005: ) around 6.30am

We started with her going to bed at 10pm, out at 1am and again at 3.30/4am - we slowly moved the 3.30 / 4am one back Until we phased it out - we only moved it back by 15 min at a time and if she was dry then moved it again after 2 nights of being dry

If you are going to crate Bonnie at night then to start with she will bark and cry - make the crate her own little safe place, nice vet bed / blanket and a toy that she can cuddle up to

I also bought a heat pad which you put in the microwave and put under the blanket, I got this on Amazon and it cost @£13

Hope some of that helps you and good luck, I am not saying it will be easy to start but routine is what she and you need and everyone on board with it

Offline caro

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Re: Night time advice for a newbie please
« Reply #2 on: April 27, 2021, 09:51:22 AM »
Our spaniel didn't do very well downstairs, I slept down with him for two nights then brought this canvas crate upstairs, and this worked well.  I didn't even need to close it.  The intention was to move it further away and eventually back downstairs.  There was so much fuss when I tried to move it to the hallway that it came back into the bedroom as we needed our sleep.  Then when he was big enough to jump on the bed I put his dog bed behind three pieces of trellis £3ish from Wilko, which i cable tied together.  This worked very well until he started randomly barking in the night.  He wanted to come up with us.  Eventually we gave in to morning cuddles, and then every so often would let him up when he did his random bark and he would often go back onto his bed of his own accord.  So we got rid of the trellis hoping he would have a cuddle then go back to his own bed and since then .... he has been on our bed every night  ph34r

However, since sleeping with us he has turned into a different dog, this might be coincidence but he seems much calmer and more obedient, and he is so cuddly!!  We are hoping in the summer he will chose his own bed!

At the end of the day it is what works for you, there is no right or wrong, but as Cazza has said, once you have done it, it is very difficult to go back.  Our last dog slept with us which we were fine with until she got arthritic and dementia and we had to carry her up and down the stairs.  We said it wouldn't happen again this time, but ....
Caroline & Sam RIP Fern x RIP Charlie Cat x

Offline MrsFlintstone

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Re: Night time advice for a newbie please
« Reply #3 on: April 27, 2021, 12:54:41 PM »
Thank you so much Cazza and Caro, so much great advice there!

 We've only had her for 2 weeks so it's early days yet. She actually did really well last night, went into her bed without any fussing then asked to go out at 4am then back to bed until the husband left for work then into bed with me for  cuddles (don't tell him and yes I think I am a hopeless case :005:) it's  her fault for being so irresistible  :luv:

The rest of the routine is going fairly well, we stick to regular mealtimes, playtimes and are just starting to introduce regular walks, we do go to bed at the same time every night and start the day at the same time. I'm not sure the crate is the right solution for us, but I may end up regretting that  :lol:

Thanks for the replies, this is such a lovely friendly forum   :D




Offline cazza

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Re: Night time advice for a newbie please
« Reply #4 on: April 28, 2021, 05:49:06 AM »
Pleased to hear you had a better night, stick to the routine you want and things will get easier  ;)

Look forward to seeing pics of the irresistible Bonnie  :D

Offline MIN

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Re: Night time advice for a newbie please
« Reply #5 on: April 28, 2021, 08:43:49 AM »
Bedtime cuddles are the best. Soon they will last all night, only a matter of time..The only downside is the amount of room they need to be comfy. Tiny Gemma grows to the size of a wolfhound when in bed. But we don't care, you just arrange yourself around the tiny bit of bed left  :luv:  :luv:
You're always there when I need you. Devoted, loving and true.
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Offline Finvarra

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Re: Night time advice for a newbie please
« Reply #6 on: April 28, 2021, 09:06:03 AM »
Our first dog after marriage was a wee jack russell. He was allowed on the bed, which had one side against the wall. One night I woke to a crash, there was OH on the floor, and me clinging on to the edge of the bed with my fingernails, while the dog was sprawled between the wall and me and had gradually pushed me over on to OH's side  :lol2:
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Offline caro

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Re: Night time advice for a newbie please
« Reply #7 on: April 28, 2021, 10:26:37 AM »
Bedtime cuddles are the best. Soon they will last all night, only a matter of time..The only downside is the amount of room they need to be comfy. Tiny Gemma grows to the size of a wolfhound when in bed. But we don't care, you just arrange yourself around the tiny bit of bed left  :luv:  :luv:

Our first dog after marriage was a wee jack russell. He was allowed on the bed, which had one side against the wall. One night I woke to a crash, there was OH on the floor, and me clinging on to the edge of the bed with my fingernails, while the dog was sprawled between the wall and me and had gradually pushed me over on to OH's side  :lol2:
Lesley

This is so true!! Sam's spot is right up between us (head end) usually sprawled sideways and we perch on either side of him trying not to fall out!!  Last night I had hubby and Sam both snoring away merrily - but I wouldn't have it any other way.  I sleep much better having him with us too and the bond between us all has got much stronger  :luv:
Caroline & Sam RIP Fern x RIP Charlie Cat x

Offline MrsFlintstone

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Re: Night time advice for a newbie please
« Reply #8 on: April 28, 2021, 12:52:45 PM »
That's adorable and makes me feel like less of a failure for being weak  :D

It would be interesting to know how many cockers end up on the bed, having spent 2 weeks with our lass I can see how it could be a cocker trait  :luv:

Offline cazza

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Re: Night time advice for a newbie please
« Reply #9 on: April 28, 2021, 06:38:52 PM »
That's adorable and makes me feel like less of a failure for being weak  :D

It would be interesting to know how many cockers end up on the bed, having spent 2 weeks with our lass I can see how it could be a cocker trait  :luv:

Firstly you are not a failure  ;)

My first cocker (lost her in May 2019) was treated as my post above and my thoughts were that down stairs at night is where she would stay  :shades:

However then I worked night shift a couple of times a week and someone felt sorry for her, so he says, mmm think it was more he didn’t like me working nights and him having to sleep alone  :005: (suppose I had better be pleased that while I was working he took a furry female to bed and not replace me with another human  :shades: :shades: )

I am sure that this one will be upstairs eventually as well  :shades:

Offline ips

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Re: Night time advice for a newbie please
« Reply #10 on: April 28, 2021, 08:24:50 PM »
That's adorable and makes me feel like less of a failure for being weak  :D

It would be interesting to know how many cockers end up on the bed, having spent 2 weeks with our lass I can see how it could be a cocker trait  :luv:

Firstly you are not a failure  ;)

My first cocker (lost her in May 2019) was treated as my post above and my thoughts were that down stairs at night is where she would stay  :shades:

However then I worked night shift a couple of times a week and someone felt sorry for her, so he says, mmm think it was more he didnít like me working nights and him having to sleep alone  :005: (suppose I had better be pleased that while I was working he took a furry female to bed and not replace me with another human  :shades: :shades: )

I am sure that this one will be upstairs eventually as well  :shades:

Ours sleeps on our bed, she is a working dog and we do fifty plus days per season but she is also part of the family, recently she has decided that my pillow is more comfortable than the bottom of the bed so waits until we are asleep then sneeks up in stealth mode 🤣 am I bothered..... nah 😁👍
Muddling along in the hope that one day it all makes sense.

Offline MrsFlintstone

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Re: Night time advice for a newbie please
« Reply #11 on: April 29, 2021, 07:27:54 PM »
That's adorable and makes me feel like less of a failure for being weak  :D

It would be interesting to know how many cockers end up on the bed, having spent 2 weeks with our lass I can see how it could be a cocker trait  :luv:

Firstly you are not a failure  ;)

My first cocker (lost her in May 2019) was treated as my post above and my thoughts were that down stairs at night is where she would stay  :shades:

However then I worked night shift a couple of times a week and someone felt sorry for her, so he says, mmm think it was more he didnít like me working nights and him having to sleep alone  :005: (suppose I had better be pleased that while I was working he took a furry female to bed and not replace me with another human  :shades: :shades: )

I am sure that this one will be upstairs eventually as well  :shades:

I suspect that will happen to us as well, I work on call shifts once a week so I'm sure I'll come home to find a furry replacement on  my side of  the bed  ;) She slept in her bed until 5am last night bless her so she's being entirely reasonable  :luv:

Offline ejp

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Re: Night time advice for a newbie please
« Reply #12 on: April 30, 2021, 08:11:40 PM »
Daisy sleeps in her bed right next to ours, on my side.  She has never tried hard to get up on our bed, but does wake me for a rub early doors.  :D  We didn't have her from a pup, so things may have been different if we did.  In our previous caravan, she managed to sneak up on to the bed one night, it was a lot lower, and curled up into a tiny ball next to me.  About an hour later, I woke up sweating, shoved up against the wall with madam sprawled out snoring for Britain  :lol:  Happy having her next to me in her own bed, and I can't see it changing now.

Offline MrsFlintstone

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Re: Night time advice for a newbie please
« Reply #13 on: May 03, 2021, 07:39:08 PM »
I can't see us changing now, she gets hot at times and likes to sprawl out on the floor which works well for her. I think the crate will be packed away this week, I understand the arguments for them are very strong but I don't think it's right for us. She's never had a night time accident anyway!

Offline ejp

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Re: Night time advice for a newbie please
« Reply #14 on: May 03, 2021, 10:27:20 PM »
Never had a crate until we adopted Daisy, and only because we were advised to by her foster mum.  She still uses it, it is in the living room and the door just lies open.  She goes in and out at will.  Each to their own, as long as it works for you then that's all that matters.