I'm getting little sleep, someone tell me this will end soon

[shonajoy]

Indie is our beloved 13 week cocker boy. He's always been reluctant to be left on his own, and I have been  working on this. I regularly leave him for an hour a day, so he gets used to it. When I return, he is delighted, but I make myself a cup of tea, and ignore him till he calms down. This is working well, and he's slowly getting the idea.

The problem is night time. For the first  couple of weeks he was fine, but he's getting worse and worse. He goes to his bed at 11pm, and we have a specially penned in area for him, of about 2 sq metres. He has his food, toy, water, blanket, hot water bottle,and his pee mat which he's a star at using, but the minute we put him in he becomes hysterical, and jumps repeatedly up at the barrier (a wooden board about 3 feet tall). Last night he did this until 1am, then settled, but was up doing the same at 4am. I had to get up as he'd escaped from the barrier and was howling and scratching at our door.

It seems to me that this is separation anxiety, but I just feel so low about it - every time he nips I'm pushing him away, and I feel if I leave him any longer during the day, I'm totally rejecting him.How is he going to know we love him? I'm not enjoying him at the moment, I'm so tired, and feel like all I ever do is scold him. We adore him, but I'm starting to think we are letting him down by not doing something right, we researched for 2 years so we could be the best owners possible, but I feel we are falling far short of that. He starts his puppy classes tomorrow night.

  Any advice?                    

[Gilly]

Don't be disheartened Shona by what you have written you sound like you are doing everything right  :wink:  Sometimes some puppies are more strong willed than others and maybe your wee boy is strong willed with ideas of his own  :wink:
Have you considered getting a playpen for him  :?:  I had one for Butty and found it invaluable, plus she couldn't escape from it and I knew that she was safe whenever i left her  
One way of trying to get him to settle better at night is to maybe try going to bed a bit later. This may sound daft, but this is what I did with Butty. Hubby and I took it in turns. I used to stay up till about 1.00am and then put her in bed. We gradually put her in bed earlier and earlier and this seemed to work for us. If he is crying at night i would be inclined to leave him, this is not everyones method as we all do things differently, but they do seem to click on to the fact that if they make enough noise you will suddenly appear but once they realise that all the howling is useless and you are not going to appear it doesn't take long and they suddenly realise it isn't worthwhile anymore  :wink:
Does he have a cuddly toy? I bought mine from a car boot sale, just make sure you remove all eyes and chewable bits before you give it to him, but this may help to, as he is obviously missing his litter mates.
Consistency is the key  :wink:   As long as everyone in your household are all doing the same things with Indie, he should learn fairly quickly but like children there really is no time limit on these things and they all progress at different speeds. These first few weeks are the most difficult by far but in a few months i am sure all this will be a distant memory  :wink:                      

[Dessie]

Hi Shona

As Gilly has said you are doing everything right so don't dispair.  I know easier said than done.

I would also strongly advise that when Indie starts creating a fuss at night that you ignore him as Gilly has mentioned, if you keep going to him everytime he starts he will cotton on to the fact that you go and see him if he makes a noise and thinks you will play etc.  I had an old child's playpen for Sebastian.

Sebastian (Orange Roan) was my first ever dog and he did whine the first night and would also wake up really early in the mornings, even now at the age of 6 he still winges at our bedroom door.  I think I should have ignored him more when he was a baby and told him to be quiet etc etc.  When I first had him I was off for 2 months due to an operation so he was spoilt rotten having his mummy at home.  He is the only one of my boys that winges I learnt when I got Bart  :wink:  :roll:

He will settle down just keep doing what you are doing and come and moan at us when it gets you down  :wink:                    

[shonajoy]

Don't be disheartened Shona by what you have written you sound like you are doing everything right  :wink:  Sometimes some puppies are more strong willed than others and maybe your wee boy is strong willed with ideas of his own  :wink:
Have you considered getting a playpen for him  :?:  I had one for Butty and found it invaluable, plus she couldn't escape from it and I knew that she was safe whenever i left her  
One way of trying to get him to settle better at night is to maybe try going to bed a bit later. This may sound daft, but this is what I did with Butty. Hubby and I took it in turns. I used to stay up till about 1.00am and then put her in bed. We gradually put her in bed earlier and earlier and this seemed to work for us. If he is crying at night i would be inclined to leave him, this is not everyones method as we all do things differently, but they do seem to click on to the fact that if they make enough noise you will suddenly appear but once they realise that all the howling is useless and you are not going to appear it doesn't take long and they suddenly realise it isn't worthwhile anymore  :wink:
Does he have a cuddly toy? I bought mine from a car boot sale, just make sure you remove all eyes and chewable bits before you give it to him, but this may help to, as he is obviously missing his litter mates.
Consistency is the key  :wink:   As long as everyone in your household are all doing the same things with Indie, he should learn fairly quickly but like children there really is no time limit on these things and they all progress at different speeds. These first few weeks are the most difficult by far but in a few months i am sure all this will be a distant memory  :wink:  

Thanks Gilly, I feel so much better after reading that. He does have a cuddly toy, a dog teddy, but he doesn't seem interested in it. It's almost like he just wants us and I feel so cruel.

I'm printing this post out and sticking it on my memo board for the rough times.

I really appreciate your support, and will face a later night with renewed vigour!

Shona x                    

[shonajoy]

Hi Shona

As Gilly has said you are doing everything right so don't dispair.  I know easier said than done.

I would also strongly advise that when Indie starts creating a fuss at night that you ignore him as Gilly has mentioned, if you keep going to him everytime he starts he will cotton on to the fact that you go and see him if he makes a noise and thinks you will play etc.  I had an old child's playpen for Sebastian.

Sebastian (Orange Roan) was my first ever dog and he did whine the first night and would also wake up really early in the mornings, even now at the age of 6 he still winges at our bedroom door.  I think I should have ignored him more when he was a baby and told him to be quiet etc etc.  When I first had him I was off for 2 months due to an operation so he was spoilt rotten having his mummy at home.  He is the only one of my boys that winges I learnt when I got Bart  :wink:  :roll:

He will settle down just keep doing what you are doing and come and moan at us when it gets you down  :wink:

Oh, Dessie, thankyou. I'm so glad to hear that. I was feeling so low about this, and worried about doing the right thing, it makes me feel much better to know I'm on the right track.

That's the thing, I'm at home most of the day as I don't work, so he likes having company obviously. I do feel so much better having a sympathetic ear, I'm keeping these posts on my noticeboard and will read again when upset. I just hope he gives in soon, the scamp! I may well look inot a puppy pen for him, we had a crate but that's too small to give him a pee area too.

Many thanks Shona x                    

[Dessie]

Hi Shona

Your welcome - that's what we are all here for.

Another idea might be to pop out a couple of times a day leaving Indie.  When I leave mine I always put the tv on and tell them "bye I won't be long" daft I know but it does the trick.                    

[Loraine]

Hi Shona

Your welcome - that's what we are all here for.

Another idea might be to pop out a couple of times a day leaving Indie.  When I leave mine I always put the tv on and tell them "bye I won't be long" daft I know but it does the trick.

Not daft at all.  I put on the radio and say 'wait there I'll be back in a minute'  Seems to work!

Shona

I remember doing what Gilly suggested which was going to bed later than usual and then gradually getting earlier.  I also played a game before bedtime to make Candy a bit tired.  Also with Gilly on the playpen - absolutely invaluable as far as I was concerned.

Do you leave a night light on for him? Nothing too bright but sometimes this can help to settle them in addition to everything else that you're doing.

13 weeks is still very, very young and he will definitely get better but it just doesn't feel like it at the moment because you're tired and a bit fed up and it seems like forever since you had a decent night's sleep and you think 'surely he should be settling down by now'!!

Like the others have said you have to be patient and consistent and then suddenly, something will just 'click' and your sleepless nights will be a dim and distant memory!

Loraine                    

[shonajoy]

Hi Shona

Your welcome - that's what we are all here for.

Another idea might be to pop out a couple of times a day leaving Indie.  When I leave mine I always put the tv on and tell them "bye I won't be long" daft I know but it does the trick.

Not daft at all.  I put on the radio and say 'wait there I'll be back in a minute'  Seems to work!

Shona

I remember doing what Gilly suggested which was going to bed later than usual and then gradually getting earlier.  I also played a game before bedtime to make Candy a bit tired.  Also with Gilly on the playpen - absolutely invaluable as far as I was concerned.

Do you leave a night light on for him? Nothing too bright but sometimes this can help to settle them in addition to everything else that you're doing.

13 weeks is still very, very young and he will definitely get better but it just doesn't feel like it at the moment because you're tired and a bit fed up and it seems like forever since you had a decent night's sleep and you think 'surely he should be settling down by now'!!

Like the others have said you have to be patient and consistent and then suddenly, something will just 'click' and your sleepless nights will be a dim and distant memory!

Loraine

Thanks Lorain, I'm definately going to stay up later with him tonight, and see how we go. I do leave a very dim light on for him, and am going to try and tire him out before going to bed. Bless him, he likes a nice long sleep before bedtime, but not tonight, poor baby!

I can't wait till this is a distant memory!

Many thanks, Shona                    

[shonajoy]

Well, he was better last night! Walked him later, then he was tired so went to bed with not a whimper. He was up at 5am because he'd escaped from his penned in area, but I ignored him, put him back in, and he settled again till 6.30am. I think we are slowly getting the idea.

Thanks for all your support yesterday, I felt really low, and you all gave me a much needed boost.

Shona x                    

[Dessie]

Well that's a step in the right direction Shona and so pleased to hear things are looking better this morning.

Keep up the good work.                    

[Anita]

Definitely a step in the right direction! When I leave Phoebe to go to work I make sure I have my ID pass on and say Bye Bye see you later. Its not that daft .

I just try to do a routine so she understands things better :wink:                    

[Gilly]

Thats great news Shona...hope Indie continues being a good boy  :wink:                    

[Magic Star]

Hi Shona

Just caught this thread, you are doing all the right things!!  One tip I did with Indie was to leave a scented blankie fleece with her in her bed, when I say scented I mean it had our scent on.  This seemed to work for us and she was quite attached to that blankie for about three months, but she doesn't bother with it now.

All pups are different and have different time scales for learning etc, I wouldn't worry about this being seperataion anxiety just yet, I think Indie (your) is a bit young for this to take hold yet and if you keep trying with the tips the others have given you, then I am sure you can break this habit before it comes to anything  

I can't think of anything to add really as I think the others have pretty much covered the main issues.  I would say though its NOT YOU :wink:   It can get you down and you think your the only person this happens too, but trust me it isn't, if its not crying, it will be slow loo training, if its not that it will be excessive nipping and so on!!  The key is to be patient and never give up, you learn new things everyday as does your pup, he just need to remeber to put them into practice with a lil help from his mummy

Hope you have another good night with him and I am normally up late, so if you feel your flagging, give me a shout on msn

Take care

Emma  and Indie xx                    

[shonajoy]

Hi Shona

Just caught this thread, you are doing all the right things!!  One tip I did with Indie was to leave a scented blankie fleece with her in her bed, when I say scented I mean it had our scent on.  This seemed to work for us and she was quite attached to that blankie for about three months, but she doesn't bother with it now.

All pups are different and have different time scales for learning etc, I wouldn't worry about this being seperataion anxiety just yet, I think Indie (your) is a bit young for this to take hold yet and if you keep trying with the tips the others have given you, then I am sure you can break this habit before it comes to anything  

I can't think of anything to add really as I think the others have pretty much covered the main issues.  I would say though its NOT YOU :wink:   It can get you down and you think your the only person this happens too, but trust me it isn't, if its not crying, it will be slow loo training, if its not that it will be excessive nipping and so on!!  The key is to be patient and never give up, you learn new things everyday as does your pup, he just need to remeber to put them into practice with a lil help from his mummy

Hope you have another good night with him and I am normally up late, so if you feel your flagging, give me a shout on msn

Take care

Emma  and Indie xx

Thanks Emma, that's really kind of you, I may well take you up on the msn thingy one of these days. He has got an old t shirt of mine he likes, and sleeps on it, maybe something more smelly? lol

Thanks for your support - I did feel so low yesterday, and thought it would never end, but it's amazing what a (nearly) full nights sleep does for you. Of course, he's a total darling during the day, lol - we are off to his very first puppy training classes tonight, so we'll see how that goes.

Thanks again, love

Shona xx                    

[Mary]

I felt for you yesterday when I read this thread.  I was lucky never to have gone through this with Lottie but having two children I could certainly relate to it  :wink:

Glad things went better last night, I'm sure he'll settle with all the advise you've been given and I can see that everyones reassurance has put your mind at ease too :wink:   Sure it will soon be a distant memory :wink: