Reactive dog and puppy?

[Candyfloss2022]

Hello everyone just looking for some advice please as I have been dancing around this topic for two years or so and I feel I need to make a decision one way or the other now! So I have a 9 year old neutered male golden cocker who is the most wonderful dog in the world I’m very isolated with no friends or family so my dog is my world however I’m haunted what will happen when he is no longer here and debating a puppy?

However he is quite protective/ resource guards me and can be reactive on a lead with dogs- is this asking for trouble? Will a puppy copy him? He also does bark in the garden at every car door slam, person go by etc which due to last neighbour moaning it makes me very worried someone else will complain ( once he barks more than twice or so I get him in of course) I worry a puppy will copy this?

And I worry he will be upset as it’s always just been us two, my vets are 50/50 split on this- some say yes I think a third ‘ being’ will stop it being so intense- another vet looked horrified   I have had behaviourists in since he was young and they said they could t suggest anything I wasn’t already doing and we are quite accepting of our little life on that front- he is what he is and the times we do venture into a cafe etc I just prepare like a military op in case kids/ dogs come at him etc

Anyone had a new puppy with a reactive dog or am I asking for trouble? I did try many tears btw but they wouldn’t let me adopt due to the reactivity before I get lambasted for ‘shop not adopt’. Thanks x

[AndyB]

My immediate response is NO.  Sorry if I sound a little brutal.  I too am on my own.  I am a widow and have no children.  I have always had cockers and almost two years ago following the lost of my beloved boy Jazz, I adopted an 18 month old beautiful blue roan bitch who happens to be deaf.  Maisie was an extremely anxious dog and for the first three months it was very difficult.  I had many sleepless nights because she was barking.  Maisie can also be reactive with other dogs and I have realised it's her way of protecting me.  She now sees me as her saviour and is completely adorable, my shadow and incredibly loving and cuddly.  When anyone comes to the door she is there right away, standing between me and the person at the door, checking who it is and sometimes barking.  I now have a guard cocker, never had one of those before.     A relative brought her 5 month old cocker puppy to my house a few months ago and Maisie reacted very badly, it was a big mistake.  She had to telephone her partner to come and collect Charlie and take him back home.  I really think you would be creating a problem and it would be heartbreaking for you to take on a puppy which you would obviously come to love and adore and then find you have a massive problem and a very difficult decision to make.   I know this is not what you want to hear.  I think your dog would view the new puppy as a threat to your very close relationship with him and may be jealous. 

[Mudmagnets]

I agree with AndyB for me it is not a case of adopt don't buy, that should be a decision (in my opinion) to make for yourself, and nothing to do with anyone else, but more the case that having a new puppy around an already jealous protective/reactionary dog is asking for trouble sadly.

With a new puppy either rescued or bought you have to consider the time it will take to train and care for him/her and how jealous this will make your other dog (who may feel he is being left out) and yes the new puppy could well pick up the older dog's bad habits and then you will have double trouble.

As I said at the beginning this is only my personal opinion and you and others may well disagree. It may work with an older dog who is less reactionary/protective - obviously all dogs are different

Good luck with whatever you decide.

[JohnMcL]

Tough decision.
I didn’t plan on having a 6 month old join us when Peanut was a year old the following day. I was cornered, the owner didn’t want the pup back and I didn’t trust sending her back.
The barking is not twice as bad it’s worse. Peanut rarely barked but now it’s like a competition of who barks first, the other joins in and i need to get them both in or quiet very quickly - it’s stressful. It’s improving with work but progress is slow.

I’m lucky that both pups are easy,  so far I will add, it’s not been 3 months yet. We’ve had one spat, I separated them within two seconds, no injuries, but I do not trust them to leave them together alone. So that needs managing and is restrictive.

The other big thing that you’ve touched on is your bond with your dog, I struggle with this, probably more than Peanut does, I hope. I spend time with Peanut on our own to try and compensate but it’s not the two of us anymore and if I’m honest I miss that.
Training is impossible together. As a result the younger one is way behind Peanut was at the same age.
Walking together can be hard going. I’m lucky that neither pull on the lead but they would if I took my eye off the ball. I often take them out separately!
Feeding needs supervision - Peanut has turned from a picky/fussy/slow eater into she’ll wolf both bowels.
Copying - hmm. The pup brings branches, stones, my bamboo fencing into the house. Now Peanut does too.

They do get on well, they are beautiful together, I love them both and things will settle but it’s not easy and I would not have managed without help from my wife, we share two houses and have an 11 year old cocker girl, neither of us are ever without at least 1 dog. The 11 year old doesn’t bother with either pup, she’s very laid back.

I knew the temperament of the new pup for 3 weeks, she lived with us so I had half an idea of what permanent would be like.

Of course it’s different for everybody but I don’t think it’s worth the risk on the bond you have already. Think about it like having newborn twins as that is what it has felt like on occasion!

John.

[Jaysmumagain]

Candyfloss it is this sentence that pulls at my heart as it very much is what I fear and know I am facing
I’m haunted what will happen when he is no longer here and debating a puppy?

I too thought long and hard about 4 years back and had like you both positive and negative thoughts. In the end I decided that Ollie with the issues he had( rescue ) was too much a mums boy and wouldn't take a pup or indeed another dog in the picture.

So in my dark moments I sink with the thoughts, yet part of me ( personally ) know it was more me wanting to cushion myself that was wanting a puppy.

I cannot say to you one way or the other what you should do - but for me I knew what Ollie was and is, so I made my descision - I hope you get a glimmer of light which points you in the right direction

[bizzylizzy]

Candyfloss it is this sentence that pulls at my heart as it very much is what I fear and know I am facing
I’m haunted what will happen when he is no longer here and debating a puppy?

I too thought long and hard about 4 years back and had like you both positive and negative thoughts. In the end I decided that Ollie with the issues he had( rescue ) was too much a mums boy and wouldn't take a pup or indeed another dog in the picture.

So in my dark moments I sink with the thoughts, yet part of me ( personally ) know it was more me wanting to cushion myself that was wanting a puppy.

I cannot say to you one way or the other what you should do - but for me I knew what Ollie was and is, so I made my descision - I hope you get a glimmer of light which points you in the right direction

I think a lot of us older ones share the dilema, Humphrey’s not overly reactive but particularly since his spinal surgery, he‘s more than ever the centre of everything so I don’t thing he‘d be happy sharing our attention. I shall be 70 this year so don’t even know if having a puppy would be fair. As Doris Day sang, „The future‘s not ours to see“, so maybe its just wiser to wait and see and make the decision when the time comes.....
Sorry not be of more help! 

[Candyfloss2022]

Hi everyone- I’m new to this so not sure if one can reply individually so I will reply to all of you ( hopefully). Thank you all for your answers I guess deep down I knew the answer was no -I selfishly was just doing it for myself to try and cushion the blow when the inevitable day comes

I guess sometimes it’s easier when you hear somebody else tell you rather than  keep turning it over and over in your own head so yes it must be just me and my little boy he has come so so far with his reactivity from when he was young and to be honest I think one tends to forget what hardworking  puppies are! And to deal with both without anybody to lean on to take up the slack I guess would be a nightmare so thank you for steering me in the right direction x

[vixen]

Just wondered where you were situated and whether there would be any COLers  near you that could meet up occasionally so you didn’t feel so isolated.

[bizzylizzy]

Just wondered where you were situated and whether there would be any COLers  near you that could meet up occasionally so you didn’t feel so isolated.

It‘d be a good idea to stick with us anyway! We laugh and cry together here, a great moral support even if it is only „cyber“ 

[vixen]

It‘d be a good idea to stick with us anyway! We laugh and cry together here, a great moral support even if it is only „cyber“ 

That is SO true.  My present puppy has been extremely hard work and I have been reduced to tears many times.  It is only by reading other COLers posts that has helped me and made me realize that I wasn’t alone with having a horrid puppy    She is now almost 9 months and there are glimpses of hope in her 
COL is my place to go whenever I need information whether it be health advice, feeding advice, training help, behaviour issues and dog related shopping recommendations.

[AndyB]

I do think at the moment that is the right decision for both of you.  It is always an awful prospect, losing your beloved cocker, and many of the people on COL have been through this and supported one another.  It is a comfort to know someone else understands your pain and loss.  I too was in an awful dilemma when I lost Jazz.  I knew in my heart I couldn't take on a puppy again because I was getting older and my husband had always been there to help when we had each of our dogs as a puppy and somehow it seemed a much more massive decision without David.  So I eighteen months after losing Jazz I decided to look for a rescue dog, right in the middle of lockdown.  I quickly realised this was not going to be easy by any means because the world and his wife were looking for a rescue dog.  However, after many months I found Maisie and was fortunate enough to adopt her.  She was eighteen months old when I got her, the perfect age for me really.  I was effectively her fourth owner and I quickly realised this was not going to be an easy task, she wasn't really house trained, she was very anxious and barked for hours every night for the first three months. 

However, nearly two years on I now have the most beautiful, loving, cuddly girl I could ever wish for and I adore her.  My cockers have always been Velcro dogs but Maisie is even more so.  I can see the gratitude in her eyes every time she looks at me.  It is a wonderful feeling to know I have saved her (and indeed she has saved me). My patience and care for her has been rewarded one hundred fold.   I have read before from people who have taken on a rescue dog what a wonderful bond they have with the dog and what a rewarding experience it can be and I now know for myself.  I would definitely advise you to consider this when the time comes to look for another dog.  I wish you well, enjoy your boy and send you plenty of these.      The members of COL are wonderful people.

[Jaysmumagain]

Candyfloss

Please know you are always welcome here, I have been here many years, it is the friendly site. Guidance and a friendly place to post is rare, yet for me it is here.

Don't be a stranger drop in when you can and always know you are welcome.

[ips]

I do think at the moment that is the right decision for both of you.  It is always an awful prospect, losing your beloved cocker, and many of the people on COL have been through this and supported one another.  It is a comfort to know someone else understands your pain and loss.  I too was in an awful dilemma when I lost Jazz.  I knew in my heart I couldn't take on a puppy again because I was getting older and my husband had always been there to help when we had each of our dogs as a puppy and somehow it seemed a much more massive decision without David.  So I eighteen months after losing Jazz I decided to look for a rescue dog, right in the middle of lockdown.  I quickly realised this was not going to be easy by any means because the world and his wife were looking for a rescue dog.  However, after many months I found Maisie and was fortunate enough to adopt her.  She was eighteen months old when I got her, the perfect age for me really.  I was effectively her fourth owner and I quickly realised this was not going to be an easy task, she wasn't really house trained, she was very anxious and barked for hours every night for the first three months. 

However, nearly two years on I now have the most beautiful, loving, cuddly girl I could ever wish for and I adore her.  My cockers have always been Velcro dogs but Maisie is even more so.  I can see the gratitude in her eyes every time she looks at me.  It is a wonderful feeling to know I have saved her (and indeed she has saved me). My patience and care for her has been rewarded one hundred fold.   I have read before from people who have taken on a rescue dog what a wonderful bond they have with the dog and what a rewarding experience it can be and I now know for myself.  I would definitely advise you to consider this when the time comes to look for another dog.  I wish you well, enjoy your boy and send you plenty of these.      The members of COL are wonderful people.

What a lovely story 😍

PS
Agree about col members 👍

[Mudmagnets]

I do think at the moment that is the right decision for both of you.  It is always an awful prospect, losing your beloved cocker, and many of the people on COL have been through this and supported one another.  It is a comfort to know someone else understands your pain and loss.  I too was in an awful dilemma when I lost Jazz.  I knew in my heart I couldn't take on a puppy again because I was getting older and my husband had always been there to help when we had each of our dogs as a puppy and somehow it seemed a much more massive decision without David.  So I eighteen months after losing Jazz I decided to look for a rescue dog, right in the middle of lockdown.  I quickly realised this was not going to be easy by any means because the world and his wife were looking for a rescue dog.  However, after many months I found Maisie and was fortunate enough to adopt her.  She was eighteen months old when I got her, the perfect age for me really.  I was effectively her fourth owner and I quickly realised this was not going to be an easy task, she wasn't really house trained, she was very anxious and barked for hours every night for the first three months. 

However, nearly two years on I now have the most beautiful, loving, cuddly girl I could ever wish for and I adore her.  My cockers have always been Velcro dogs but Maisie is even more so.  I can see the gratitude in her eyes every time she looks at me.  It is a wonderful feeling to know I have saved her (and indeed she has saved me). My patience and care for her has been rewarded one hundred fold.   I have read before from people who have taken on a rescue dog what a wonderful bond they have with the dog and what a rewarding experience it can be and I now know for myself.  I would definitely advise you to consider this when the time comes to look for another dog.  I wish you well, enjoy your boy and send you plenty of these.      The members of COL are wonderful people.

What a lovely story 😍

PS
Agree about col members 👍

Where's a 'like' when you need it - will have to settle for  (meaning I agree wiv all the above  )

[ejp]

Candyfloss, our girl was very reactive, and we adopted her knowing she would need to be an only dog.  I understand your predicament, and empathise completely.  It's a thought when you see them getting older.  Prior to having Daisy, we adopted a younger dog as our two older boys were getting on, and we were concerned that one would be left alone, which worried us.  Sadly we lost our adoptee quite young, so you just never know.  As a result we were left without a dog, and about 18 months later we were asked if we would be interested in Daisy.  (I knew the lady who worked with the rescue) We have no family for back up and in case the worst happened, I had it written into our will that Daisy would go back to the rescue if the need arose. That may be an option for you in the future.  Stick with us, it's always nice to pop on here for a chat and support if needed.