Author Topic: wits end!! (Read 9973 times)

Pammy · « **on:** October 27, 2003, 05:38:10 PM »

Most of you know of the ongoing troubles we've had with Jasper and Buddy. Basically, Jasper is very jealous of Buddy and constantly feels threatened by him. Buddy on the other hand is well laid back and couldn't give a monkeys.

Buddy can't walk past me without Jasper jumps up and blocks him from me. Buddy however, does pinch and guard toys or chews from Jasp given half a chance.

Recently things have been getting worse and I am now suffering territorial( I think it is anyway) weeing in the house and barking. Meg's has been at home today and they have wee'd several times - after being out etc. If I leave them in the house in the kitchen together, I can guarantee I will come back to wee. Leave them seperated and nothing.

Out walking, Jasper has to be in front of Buddy if we take them together. If I take them out seperately, Jasper goes for Buddy, not in a really viscious way, but a way that tries to say, "I'm the boss", the second they are reunited.

Jasp has been in one room with the kids for 5 mins while Bud was just with me. He has been let out and went straight for Buddy and is now barking at his face. Buddy has a tennis ball. Ball removed and he's stopped barking. Both now lying with their heads down.

When we go in the car, if they are tied in the back, Jasper barks none stop and Buddy mimics Jasper. If they are on their own, Buddy is a dream. He will just sit or lie down and not make a murmer. Even when we stop, he just sits and waits. Jasp on the other hand is incapable of relaxing. Even if I let him in the main body of the car, he has to be by me and will not rest. When we slow down or stop, he's up and whining/wimpering.

The oddest thing though is bedtime, 99% of the time, they go into their crate together and sleep very happily together :- There are times when they cuddle up on the sofa and look so sweet. Jasper has his evening routine of cuddles - ie he goes to Nige to sit on his face and nibble his nose

.

We really are at our wits end

. As much as we adore both our boys, we can't go on llike this much longer

. Buddy is a pure joy, so easy to live with Jasper is so hyper we just don't get much enjoyment from him at present and I can't believe he is happy either. I was about to order a DAP diffuser, do you think it will help? Any other pearls of wisdom very gratefully received.

Sorry for the war and peace - it just started coming and wouldn't stop

Mary · « **Reply #1 on:** October 27, 2003, 05:47:42 PM »

I really feel for you Pammy and can fully understand why you're at your wits end :-

It definately sounds like Jasper has 'the' problem...that problem being that he cannot except sharing you and wanting to be 'top dog' :-

I have no answer to your dilemma....hope someone can come along and give you some ideas to ease the situation.

Sounds like you need a hug in the meantime

Pammy · « **Reply #2 on:** October 27, 2003, 05:52:03 PM »

Quote from: Mary on October 27, 2003, 05:47:42 PM

Sounds like you need a hug in the meantime

Do I - thanks

Mary · « **Reply #3 on:** October 27, 2003, 05:56:34 PM »

Quote from: Pammy on October 27, 2003, 05:52:03 PM

Do I - thanks

I've got a bottle of wine here needs sharing too Pammy

*Jay* · « **Reply #4 on:** October 27, 2003, 06:28:06 PM »

Sorry to hear about your problems Pammy

Now I know I've been very lucky that Vegas and Dallas get on well for the most part - Vegas gets growly with Dallas when there is food and/or toys involved but I find that relatively easy to control. I think the DAP may help as it may make Jasper feel more secure - of course, there are never any guarantees but I think anything would be worth a try :- I have a spare diffuser you can have to try it out if you like - if it works, great, keep it and if not you can just send it back. Really hope there is a happy ending to this :-

Pammy · « **Reply #5 on:** October 27, 2003, 06:48:28 PM »

Gill - will IM you - but thanks for the offer of the DAP - It would be great to try it. I'm hoping it will have a good effect on them both. Make Buddy less proprietorial over food and toys and Jasper just better all round by feeling more secure.

Thanks

Anonymous · « **Reply #6 on:** October 27, 2003, 07:22:44 PM »

Hi Pammy

Sorry to hear of the troubles you are having with your boys! I can't offer any advise really other than, maybe a behaviourist might be able to offer some advise and help, although I know this can be costly. I have used one in the past with our rescue GSD she suffered terribley from seperation anxiety, although it wasn't an overnight cure, with being told how to deal with it and the reasoning behind it along with a few tips, it did help in the longterm, so its just another avenue for you to consider. There is a fab lady on TV of a Sunday afternoon, she works on all kinds of animals, and its to do with the body and the tensions, in the body that can affect a dogs behviour, I know this sounds a bit "hippiesh" but the results she has are AMAZING. I can't think of her name, but, she is working on that Celebrity Dog School at the moment. If things don't improce with the diffuser, could be worth a try, another good pet behaviourist is Peter Neville, he has a book out, think my mum has it, she may be able to lend it to you, if you like.

I hope you can get things settled down. It must be very frustrating for you. Sorry smilies arent working.

((((((hugs for you))))))

Emma and Indie

PennyB · « **Reply #7 on:** October 27, 2003, 07:44:51 PM »

Quote from: Mrsbojangles on October 27, 2003, 07:22:44 PM

Hi Pammy

Sorry to hear of the troubles you are having with your boys! I can't offer any advise really other than, maybe a behaviourist might be able to offer some advise and help, although I know this can be costly. I have used one in the past with our rescue GSD she suffered terribley from seperation anxiety, although it wasn't an overnight cure, with being told how to deal with it and the reasoning behind it along with a few tips, it did help in the longterm, so its just another avenue for you to consider. There is a fab lady on TV of a Sunday afternoon, she works on all kinds of animals, and its to do with the body and the tensions, in the body that can affect a dogs behviour, I know this sounds a bit "hippiesh" but the results she has are AMAZING. I can't think of her name, but, she is working on that Celebrity Dog School at the moment. If things don't improce with the diffuser, could be worth a try, another good pet behaviourist is Peter Nevis, he has a book out, think my mum has it, she may be able to lend it to you, if you like.

I hope you can get things settled down. It must be very frustrating for you. Sorry smilies arent working.

((((((hugs for you))))))

Emma and Indie

Its Sarah Fisher (married to the guy from Buffy) who does the TTouch (Tellington Touch)

http://www3.sympatico.ca/tilleyfarm/HomePage.html

There are a number of practitioners on there. A friend of mine is a practitioner in training and of course swears by it (but she uses it a lot when she works as a volunteer for a rescue)

Gilly · « **Reply #8 on:** October 27, 2003, 07:52:38 PM »

Pammy i'm so sorry to hear that your having to go throught his difficult time with your boys

I haven't got an answer for you but just wanted to offer my support in whatever route you take so that your all happier

Gilly

Anonymous · « **Reply #9 on:** October 27, 2003, 08:06:18 PM »

:)Aww thanx Penny, couldn't think of her name

She is absolutely fantastic

Just had a look at that site too, its great

Emma and Indie

Here is a link to Peter Neville's site

http://www.ask.co.uk/ix.asp?q=Peter+Nevill...%2Euk%2F&adurl=

Hope this helps

Emma and Indie

KellyP · « **Reply #10 on:** October 27, 2003, 08:19:09 PM »

oh Pammy

I'm afraid I don't have any pearls of wisdom - but I just wanted to offer my hugs and support for you all

I hope your household settles down soon.

Kelly

Hel · « **Reply #11 on:** October 27, 2003, 08:52:25 PM »

I've posted before that my parents had two males who were fine for at a couple of years and then seriously fell out to the point that they had to be kept separate for life - they fought to the death if they did met by accident. If it's any relief, yours don't sound half as bad as my parents' boys were!

I've forgotton how old you boys are - can you remind me? All hell broke out in our house when they were 2 and 4/5, ish. In our case, it was the younger dog wanting top position from an older dog who had no intention of giving it up. Both dogs were the mildest dogs to other dogs outside the house - just not to each other!

Pammy · « **Reply #12 on:** October 27, 2003, 09:41:20 PM »

Thanks for the support guys - it really helps.

Jasper was three at the end of August and Buddy was 2 at the beginning of May. I know a lot of this is my fault as I got Buddy too soon, but hindsight is a wonderful thing :- and it's why I now recommend waiting at least 18 months before getting another. But at the time, there was absolutely nothing to suggest Jasper would be this way. He had always been great with other dogs and was fab with Buddy and his siblings when he went to see them. We wanted to check he would be OK before we brought Buddy home.

They are now both lying on the two armchairs behind me as good as gold and have had a good evening

Shirley · « **Reply #13 on:** October 27, 2003, 10:19:55 PM »

Hi Pammy

Just wanted to say sorry to hear about the problems you're having with your boys. Hope you find the answer and things settle down soon. No solutions here, as I'm not yet lucky enough to have two cockers.

Shirley

Jane S · « **Reply #14 on:** October 28, 2003, 12:01:28 AM »

Hi Pam

Just wanted to add my sympathies too - there are never any easy answers for these situations are there? I can't think of anything to help that you haven't already tried or that someone hasn't already suggested, sorry. Don't blame yourself - these things happen & can happen even when there is a bigger age gap (we had 2 bitches who fell out & there was a 4 year age gap between them!)

Hope things get better for you anyway

Jane

CockersOnline Forum

News: