rehoming Oliver

[Karma]

Oliver21508 - I have been following this thread closely, and I really do sympathise with your position.  I can also understand why people have become frustrated and why this has led them to post the comments they have.  I must admit to feeling quite frustrated when I first saw this thread, and as I said, I really was at a loss as to how to respond at first.

You obviously do love Ollie dearly, and you have worked very hard to create a positive environment for him.  If you are still having difficulties with your family, I really urge you to get on board with a training class as soon as possible.  It is such a shame as this really would have been something your family could have organised from the start, rather than leaving it to you to find something once problems have arisen.  While you probably have a lot of things to do at the minute, trying to keep your family consistent and give Ollie the training he needs, you do need to make this a priority.

I thought your family had agreed to follow your instructions for training Ollie?? If they are telling him off rather than rewarding good behaviour, then they are not keeping to their agreement.  
There is nothing wrong with him being kept seperate when young children are about - can you agree a compromise where he gets a walk and play session before they arrive, so he is tired, and then stays out of harm's way with a Kong or other interactive toy/treat??  At 4-5 months, Honey was quite happy being left completely on her own for a few hours at a time, as long as she had her Kong and a few toys...

I really hope you get things sorted out - for your and Ollie's sake.  And remember, plenty of adults struggle with the puppy stage - not only with the behaviour a pup can present but also with all the conflicting information out there about how to deal with it - they don't have the added pressure of trying to convince their family (who have owned dogs before) that they are doing things the right way!!  I have to say that, without COL, we would have made so many more mistakes with Honey, as there is so much out there saying alsorts that, if you sit back and think for a while makes no sense at all, but when you are under stress with a pup it is so easy to just try anything without thinking it through!!

Good luck - and do keep us posted!!  

[tracey]

I hope everything works out for you with Oliver.

I'm a complete novice where Cockers are concerned but I do have a 17yr old son & know from experience that 17yr olds can be stubborn & so can parents (I certainly am!) & then you end up at loggerheads. 

I think in addition to Ollie's training, a key thing to make this work will be keeping your Mum on side with you.  Talk to her, ask her for help (we parents love it when our teens ask for help, makes us feel needed  ), be completely open with her but in a non-confrontational way, let her know how much Oliver means to you & how important it is to you for this to work.  You'll find that if you approach it the right way, your Mum can be your greatest ally.

Best of luck to you & Oliver.

I agree with the above post.... Please try to have a chat with your mom or dad about how difficult your are finding things and how much Oliver means to you and how you want things to work out with him and his training.

Everyone in the family needs to be working together to help with Olivers training to make him into the dog you all want him to be, he can't do it all by himself and he needs all of the families help.

IF all of the family can't offer the traning he needs then please speak to Olivers breeder, I would want to know if one of my puppy owners were struggling.

Best wishes...

[Michele]

What? What have I done wrong now? He's asleep. I'm not going to start playing with him when he's asleep. He's had his dinner, he's had all his walks.

you've done nothing wrong - read your PM's from me woman 

I think the OP was referring to this post below Cazza, not yours 

Oh my goodness. I also have to bow out from this. Book yourself onto a course, get off the internet and spend some time with your puppy. Yes, I am a hypocrite because I'm on here reading this. But when our puppy needs training, walks, cuddles and all the attention he deserves I just don't have the time to log on. By all means pop on and ask advice, I know I did in the early days and found this forum invaluable. But i guess I've just reached the end of my tether with this.

Good luck Oliver.

[Annie's Mum]

Hi
I didn't mean to sound so harsh but you have made a number of posts re Ollie......I didn't realise you were so young, I have a daughter nearly same age and she is not responsible for our Dogs we are. Who does Ollie belong too? what I'm trying to say is who bought him or decided to bring him into your family? Im not being harsh now I'm just worried you've left so many posts and you are so young, I feel that as a so called grown up I struggled with my dear Cocker so just want to make sure you are ok...where abouts are you maybe some of us could help

[Claire83]

Hi
I didn't mean to sound so harsh but you have made a number of posts re Ollie......I didn't realise you were so young, I have a daughter nearly same age and she is not responsible for our Dogs we are. Who does Ollie belong too? what I'm trying to say is who bought him or decided to bring him into your family? Im not being harsh now I'm just worried you've left so many posts and you are so young, I feel that as a so called grown up I struggled with my dear Cocker so just want to make sure you are ok...where abouts are you maybe some of us could help

I agree you are young i saw from your're profile you are in London. I am too SE london, i'd be happy to reccomend to good reward based traniers in your area or get recommendatons from my training club  We've found training really fun and most importantly rewarding in the long term. It's such a shame that you are so young and yet are having to deal with all of this. 

[Oliver21508]

Thanks. I live in NW London. Ollie belongs to my parents, but I seem to be the person most responsible for him. Cos I wanted to train him and walk him, that is now what I'm doing, but I didn't realise how hard it would be.

[JerryBerry]

Perhaps you could let your Mum and Dad read this thread?  When I lived at home we always had dogs and although my parents were happy for me to be involved with the training and walking etc, even at 17 they would never have expected me to take full responsibility!! When my OH and I decided our daughters were old enough for us to have a dog we did TONS of research - Im talking a years worth - before we decided on a breed, and then another 6 months before we found a breeder who ticked all our boxes.  As it turns out Jerry is a dream boat but still needs lots of time and attention and to be honest I never expect that to change.

I really do hope you manage to get your family on board hun. You only get out of a dog what you put in and it really is worth the time and effort to train Oliver properly.  The only thing I would add to that is - please dont think that he will be trained after a 6 week training course, Jerry still conveniently forgets all his training when he feels like it. My uncle works spaniels and says his cockers often give him headache as he has to be on at them all the time to stay on task. So really the training course is for you, so you know what methods to implement, then you can expect to have to keep implementing them for at least the next 2 years (if not the full 15 years Oliver could live for!) before they fully sink in. Having said that a very experienced cocker owner who lives near me marched his 6 year old cocker off the field yesterday because he wasnt listening to a word he said! 

Sending you a supportive hug in what seems like a difficult situation xx

[angelbaby]

ive just sat and read all of this thread, bless you trying to help Ollie, it must be very difficult at what is a crucial age for young dogs to be learning and socialising  to not have support from your family? i think your parents were very foolish to even entertain the idea of a new puppy if it was only you who was interested in really having one? what happens when one day you move out and have to leave him there with your parents cause some rented places dont allow dogs?  i think you all need to to get involved, sit and talk to your mum about it maybe?
I know im a lucky one with that my boy has never really caused me any upset and hes now 19 months old? but i hes had what alot of dogs dont get nowadays i guess and thats, complete and utter 24/7 attention, he spends all day and night with me, yeah i leave him for a few hours every now and again, were not totally joint at the hip lol. I wouldnt of got a dog if i couldnt of given him what he needs, ive wanted a cocker forever and waited to what i thought was the right time, and it paid off, but then each dog is very different to the next.
Puppies will be puppies and bored puppies will be little devils   ollie needs some direction in life think, maybe you could find some agility classes, he might really enjoy doing stuff like that eventually?
I hope you get it sorted you sound like a sweet girl trying her best for something that i feel may be abit much on a head so young. but then look at that Kate and Gin! that could be you!! ha ha Keep us posted on your progress x

[jarbaha]

hi 
oh i really feel for you, and such a huge responsibillity on such young shoulders.
i'm fairly young, and have owned cockers for almost 9 years now, and also have 9  cockers.
but i'm extremly lucky that i am at home all day, and all my cockers get idividual attention, one on one training, lots of lovley walks ect.

i'm not having a go at you in anyway, but i don't think people put the homework in before getting a puppy, puppies are no different to babies in many respects, they need attention, socilaistion, stimulation, all family members need to be 100 % committed to a new puppy.in order for it to work, and make life easy for everyone.
puppies are extremley hard work, and need to be taught what is expected from them from day one of being brought home, some vets do puppy parti's that you can take a puppy to, too begin with, then once vaccinations are complete, you can them move up to puppy training classes, and this continues, every day at home for short periods too.training should be fun, and for short periods of a time, and the length of training grows as puppies age.

i feel reading the posts on here, you have had lots of negitive feedback, and really you should be able to come on here for advise and help.
but also you need to sort out some form of training for your puppy. go right back to basic's with him, the puppy is young, and ideal to train him, cockers are and can be a lively breed, they are after all a member of the gundogs, all puppies will play up,and constantley test there boundries, they are puppies, no different to babies, you would'nt turn your back on a baby,we nuture , care and guide them, and this is what a puppy needs too.
i do feel you may have an upward hill struggle with some of your family members, and for your puppy to grow in confidence, to be trained to be a lovleble puppy, a well behaved puppy, then all family members need to be consitant with training.

my heart goes out to you, but get him trained, and you would have a lovely boy in your puppy,it takes time, and you cannot expect miracles, training is a lifetime of training , with being a cocker, mental stimulation, for when he is alone, or for times he has to be shut in a room, although maybe i have'nt read all the postings, but why is he shut in when children are about ?, if hes shut away, this can make a stituation worse, he can be suvervised around children, or maybe have a longline lead on him, and lots of prasie with training treats.
as i said you have to teach your puppy what is expected of/from him.

i'm such a placid person, and have gone through training all 9 of my own cockers, it can be done, and you will have dogs you can take anywhere and be so proud of them.

i REALLY wish you the best with your puppy, PLEASE don't give up on him, i'm sure with guidance and training, things will seem better, but it will take time.

keep us updated.
and i wish you well what ever you decide.

love terri
x

[KatieJean]

Hi

Just wanted to add a few comments

I have read previous posts by you and feel you have tried really hard. I know you have tried and tried to get your family on board and to use the same commands to no avail.
If you feel you need to re home him for his sake I feel it is not because you are giving up but because you feel it is best for him.
It is not easy doing it on your own, at my age, and I'm not saying what I have had difficulty getting family to use the same commands and have had the mickey taken out of me because I have been to training classes (OH reckons 'she took her to training classes and she learnt how to bark!!') But I'm in the position I tell my family where to go!!
A lot of 17 year old would not have bothered to ask advice and given up long ago.
When my children were small and when the grandchildren were small our pups were always in the kitchen for the pups and the children's sake so as long as they are let out and not ignored I can't see any problem with that.

I wish you all the best with whatever decision you feel you have to make.
Sending lots of hugs
Love Kate x

[Cocoa]

Just to add my twopennyworth, I also feel that you are really trying your best with Ollie given your young age and you obviously love him a lot.  It can't be easy when you haven't got the support of your family and as you are so young you aren't the decision maker in the family and are also under pressure to make him behave.  I ditto what everyone else has said in that it is imperative that you find yourself a training class to go to.  We have a lot of youngsters go to our training club and they do all the training with their dogs but with their parent's support.  It would be a great help if a member of your family (maybe your mum) could also go to training with you to watch so that they can see the methods used for training Ollie and maybe this might ignite some interest within the family and it would also enable some consistency with his training if one other person at least knows what you and Ollie are learning. You'll be surprised how much fun training classes can be.  My Cocoa was a little devil  as a pup but she loved going to training and now does some agility which she really enjoys.  Ollie is too young for agility at the moment but it is something maybe you could do with him when he is older but you need to do all the basics first of all.

I don't feel that it harms to keep Ollie and the small children apart.  Children can overexcite puppies and this is when puppies are liable to nip and misbehave so maybe your mum is right in keeping him in the kitchen when they are at your house.

Good luck with whatever you do in the future with Ollie.

[Lis]

Hi there - I have been following all your threads since you got Ollie and I am sorry you are having such a hard time of it - it really is a huge responsibility and a lot for you to deal with without support.  I notice that you are in NW London.  I live in the Muswell Hill/Highgate area of North London. I have Dora who is a year and one month.  We are about to start some new training classes at the Barnet and District Dog Training Club - is this any good for you?  It will probably take me an hour to get there on the bus but I think it is worth it.  If you ever want to meet up locally for a bit of a chat and moral support, please feel free to PM me.  It might help you to meet another cocker to see that Ollie is being a typical cocker! Lis.

[Oliver21508]

Thanks everyone. This morning was much better. We went to the pet shop to get a toy, and he was very well-behaved all the way there and back. I'm using his harness from now on as I think he respects it more, and even if he does pull and get over-excited, it doesn't hurt his neck, and it doesn't hurt our arms either. I did some fetch with him in the garden with his new toy, and he was great. I gave him a treat every time he came back WITH the toy, and he drops it straight away too. He's going to play with his doggy friend this afternoon so he'll enjoy that. Going to do a bit of training in a minute, so I think this new timetable is working well, and I'm actually enjoying being around him and with him, and I think he enjoys it too.

[*Theresa*]

If your parents are responsible for Ollie but have no intention of training him or giving him any attention can I ask what will happen when you inevitably leave home.

I am not going to criticise you one bit for getting confused about the best thing to do...I am a grown woman and I struggled when we got Glen as some days he seemed to have been put on earth to ignore me or do the complete opposite from what I asked.

It does get better but surely you making all the effort to train and bond with Ollie is going to be pointless unless he gets to come with you when you leave home.

I really feel for you as it must be really hard for you trying to do this on your own without the consent of your family.  

[cdpops]

Thanks everyone. This morning was much better. We went to the pet shop to get a toy, and he was very well-behaved all the way there and back. I'm using his harness from now on as I think he respects it more, and even if he does pull and get over-excited, it doesn't hurt his neck, and it doesn't hurt our arms either. I did some fetch with him in the garden with his new toy, and he was great. I gave him a treat every time he came back WITH the toy, and he drops it straight away too. He's going to play with his doggy friend this afternoon so he'll enjoy that. Going to do a bit of training in a minute, so I think this new timetable is working well, and I'm actually enjoying being around him and with him, and I think he enjoys it too.

Thats great. Sounds liks Oliver is a very smart puppy!