Your thoughts...

[paulsutt]

Hi,
As some of you may have read we lost out beautiful Max last week. He went very suddenly and has left a huge gap in our lives.

It seems strange and I feel guilty but I cannot help really wanting another cocker in a few months. This wouldn't be a quick fix for my grieving at all and it wouldn't be to replace him....I know that would be a huge mistake trying to find a dog like him..that would be a recipe for disaster..he cannot be replaced ever..however he brought so much joy into my life and later on my wife that I simply cannot imagine our house without the pitter patter of a cocker.

Has anyone been through a similar experience? I'd love to know what your personal thoughts and experiences have been if you have been faced with a similar situation.

Thanks in advance.
paul

[Pearly]

Hi Paul,

I'm so sorry that Max has passed to the bridge.  He looks so handsome in his photos. 

Pearl is my first dog for many years so I've not had to face the void that I know she will leave.....what I would say is that when the time is right you will know and please don't feel guilty, I'm sure if we could ask them, our loyal friends would want us to be happy.

Jayne and Pearly

[Neon]

Hi Paul

Lots of us have been where you are now.  I lost my last cocker three years ago (tomorrow) and it took eight months before I could think of getting another.

We are all different - some need to get another one almost straight away, some have to wait until they feel ready.  It really is a personal thing.  You will know when the time is right.

Toby is so different to the one I lost and it was quite a shock at first, but he is a much loved family member now.

You will always have Max in your heart, but it won't stop you loving another one, when you are ready. x

[JeffD]

IF your house is empty with out a dog, just go and get another it does not matter if it is a week or a year, with me and Sue it is normally about 6 to 9 months, we always say its life is easier with out a dog then we realise we just cant live with that empty space in the house and in our hearts.

Just don't go and get a manic crazy working cocker pup  

[Mudmagnets]

Would like to echo the previous posts, I live on my own, and when I lost Smudge suddenly in August, I just could not face coming home - or being at home - without a pooch to keep me company

Minstrel is a 13 week pup and so different to dear, steady Smudge who was 6.5 years, he is so mischevious it is hard not to laugh at his antics, and his training is keeping me..erm, occupied!!

[elaine.e]

We're all different so there's no right or wrong

The last time I was without a Cocker was when the second of my first pair died. He was almost 17 and during his last few months I was nursing him along, just keeping him happy and eating and pottering about in the garden with lots of cuddles of course. When he died there was a little bit of relief mingled with the sadness, because I was no longer tied to the house as much (one person household so I'd done all the caring and nursing) or worrying about him. It's not that I'd minded caring for him in the slightest, but I realised how much it had taken out of me and thought I'd probably take a while before I had a dog again.

But the house felt lonely and after a couple of months I decided the time was right to start looking for a puppy. I was lucky enough to find William after just a few phone calls and he came home to me just under 5 months after losing Josh.

You'll know when the time is right and when you find the right Cocker he or she will find a new space in your heart, next to the one where Max will always be

[JennyBee]

When I lost Barney it was incredibly traumatic, and I said no way would I ever get another dog... Eight weeks later Brodie came home . The pain was intense, but as the days went on I couldn't bear not to have a dog by my side. I already knew what breeder I would go to, and luckily she had a litter at the same time (Brodie was born two days before Barney died). I won't lie, it wasn't easy and I did feel guilt, but it was the best thing I could have done. I now worship Brodie to bits and she is at my side constantly.

Everyone is different - I've heard of people going out the same day and getting another dog, and I've heard of people taking years before deciding to go ahead. You will know what the time is right. In the meantime you will have plenty of time to research and prepare for your new doglet

[Jenn]

I only lasted a month before getting a new puppy after my 15  year old dog died.  I have grown up with dogs and hated not having one in the house.Not a replacement though. I got a cocker for first time, i deliberately picked something totally different to previous lab x collie . I would not be without a cocker now though, am going to start looking for a rescue as a companion for this one , probably after Christmas when this puppy will be 1 year old. There are times when I really really miss my old dog and do compare, but  like I said wouldn't be without a cocker spaniel now.

[Jenn]

Ps I also said I would never get another dog ! Famous last words...

[coopersmum]

Like others have said, there is truly no right or wrong answer. I have realised that getting another dog doesn't detract from all the love we had for the one who left us. I think our heart just grows with love, there's not a finite amount of love within us... I think its infinite (esp for doggies).

When Percy had to go due to cancer, I waited two weeks before going in search of Cooper because I couldn't bear the emptiness, and in honour of Percy I decided to rescue a cocker. I found Coop at an spca and it was love at first sight (in retrospect, I feel it was meant to be for not many people would have put up with his many issues health and behaviour wise). Maybe I'm a bit silly but I feel it is significant that the day I found Coop was the day Percy was cremated, which I didn't know at them time. I feel in a way that Percy gave Cooper his blessing.

There is no right or wrong time to find another dog. Your heart will tell you when the right time and the right dog comes along.

So sorry that Max has gone to the Bridge. I am sure he has a very special dog in mind for you.

[Robbie34]

I lost my first Cocker, Jason, when he was almost four years of age.  He was put to sleep just one week after I took him to the vet's home one Sunday afternoon.  The vet told me that he was a very sick dog and I had to take him to the surgery on Monday morning.  I collected him on the Wednesday and he went downhill rapidly.  The following Monday he was in a coma and I had to return to the surgery to have him put to sleep.  I cuddled him whilst the vet injected him, and then carried him home, sobbing, to be laid to rest in the garden.

I was absolutely devastated by this and couldn't even think about having another dog as I couldn't face going through the same traumatic experience.  I had never been without a dog since I was a little boy and I really missed having one.  Some three months later I missed Jason so much that I looked for another Cocker Spaniel and found one available in Clitheroe.  I drove there the following day and fell in love with Benjie, an eight week old Golden Cocker.  I couldn't have been happier.  Just as I had done with Jason, I took Benjie to work and every morning prepared his food and toys etc., and put him in a large cardboard box that would serve as his basket.  He was given free reign in my office and I used to have a constant stream of visitors to see my new puppy.  I had no problem having someone to look after him when I had visits to make and meetings to attend.  Benjie became my constant companion, and was put to sleep when he was just over sixteen years old.

[rednblack]

So sorry for your loss of your lovely boy.
 
As someone else has said, our love for our dogs is very elastic, and there's always room for another one in our hearts, without taking away from those who nested there before (especially wriggly cockers   ).
 
Also I feel there's something magic about cockers - when the time's right, your next cocker will call you.
 
Best wishes whatever you decide to do.

[Poppsie]

Paul, just over 4years ago I had to say goodby to my little girl Poppy    I had her half sister Pebbles who adored poppy  But after poppy left us not only was I grieving but Pebbles was too  it was very hard for both of us. Then in 2011 I had to say goodbye to Pebbles  and believe you me I was devastated.  I said I wouldn't get another as I couldn't bear the heartbreak again  but I have to admit after having cocker spaniels for over 30years life just wasn't the same without one  I waited only 8weeks to look for another but I did find myself looking for poppy and pebbles look a likes IYSWIM? I found Phoebe but she is totally different in colour being a dark blue roan whereas my other two where very light blue roans. Then a week later along came Mia she is light blue but totally different in her personality to my rainbow girls  .
Paul you must go with your head on this one everybody is different  I'm glad I waited a little bit other wise I think I would have got another for all the wrong reason  good luck in what ever you decide to do x x x

[Poppypuppy09]

I am so sorry for your loss,  it's such a difficult time for you but when the time is right you will find your next fur baby 

When I lost my Lucy cocker I just felt completely lost, she was my world and my "forever" dog. My OH (little beknown to me) found a litter of cockers and reseved a blue roan, I knew nothing until the pic of a little pupster was in my inbox. When we went to visit, I took one look at the breeders beautiful cockers and cried my eyes out, I needed to have another fur baby to love 

When our Springy Tessa had to leave us in May we were really stuck. My OH has always had Springers but isn't really well enough to have a pupster, we found Carrie a very young girlie at MT so we took her on, Not sure why I even looked at the MT website that day as we weren't actively seeking a new fur baby  but I did and we now have a Springy/Cocker fur family

Take care

[Lily Freya]

Hi Paul.

Personally, i just couldn't wait!  I needed to replace the love and affection I had lost. NOT the dog.....I knew that would never happen, but the love and companionship a dog offers.

Lily's death absolutely broke my heart, and initially I felt guilty about bringing another into the home. 

No regrets at all now.....got 3 in total. 

You'll never, ever forget your faithful friend.....but you can love another, and enjoy companionship of a dog again.

Very best of luck.