Bonding worries!!

[crunchie]

More advice again please!  I am worried that Pringle is not bonding with me very well.  I am at home all day with her and when my husband comes home from work she is so excited to see him.  She never seems to get excited when she sees me.  Even if my husband just goes out the room for a minute or two and comes back in she goes mad but doesn't with me.  Also, when we were at Puppy Playgroup on Tuesday, when she was worried she chose to go and sit by the legs of one of the other owners rather than come to me.  She also does not seem very cuddly.  If I pick her up for a cuddle all she wants to do is bite and wriggle.  I am worried that because I am with her all the time she thinks all I do is tell her off, and take things off of her (that she shouldn't have).  I do play with her a lot as well and try to cuddle her and love her.  Is this normal?  Do you think she does love me or will grow to love me?

[PennyB]

Ruby was always like this as a pup and was more independent. She also adores men so would rather go to them as well. Ruby will cuddle me mor enow but more often than not go and sleep on her own its just th eway she is, Wilf on the other hand is your original velcro cuddle monster (they're related as well, same dad)

I wouldn't worry or try to force the issue either just enjoy your pup for who she is.

[allym]

I shouldn't beat yourself up about it, or think that you have done anything wrong.  I'm the one who feeds / cleans / walks Henry 99% of the time, yet as soon as my OH is around, Henry wants to sit by him / cuddle him etc etc.  I just make sure that I get lots of cuddles while Graham is out!

My friend has a Springer, who absolutely adores her hubby.  If she gets up in the morning to take her out for a walk, the dog keeps looking over her shoulder to see where hubby is, but if hubby gets up to walk her, she goes straight out of the door without a second thought for my friend!!

I'm sure you'll be fine! Might be worth leaving OH at home with Pringle for a few days (if he's anything like my OH, meals will be late / house will be messy etc etc) and I bet Pringle will be praying for you to go back to normal!!

[Mollycuddles]

Molly was like that at first.... I thought it was only men she liked as her breeder was a man and because I was with her alll the time....... but as she got older she bonded with me ....I'm the one who takes her to training classes too which made a difference... she still adores other people and can't get enough of them..... but she loves her sleepy cuddles from me and I feel a strong bond between us .......

Georgie is so different from the moment we had him he just bonded ...... they are all different and do things in different stages.....Pringle will love you and bond...it's a dogs nature....just don't get upset when it appears she doesn't it's just her growing up..

[DennyK]

Can I also suggest you look on the upside of this situation? 

Paddy (now 4 and a half months old) has bonded so strongly with me that it's become a real problem.  For instance, Monday and Tuesday of this week I had to go overseas, so was up both mornings and out the door to the airport, without disturbing him in the kitchen.  OH fed and watered him at the usual time.  He was under the weather anyway because of his colitis, but he just cried endlessly because he couldn't find me and we're sure that this exacerbated his problem as the stress made his tummy worse.  I can't even go to the loo on my own as he goes mad if there's a shut door between us.  However, he is fine once dropped off with his petsitter and her two dogs (one a pup a couple of months older).

I'm following the Gwen Bailey advice on separation anxiety but to little effect, frankly.

The upside with Pringle is that she'll bond more with you as time goes on, she's happy with you during the day, and she's an independent little dog already.  It's lovely to be loved, but the kind of bond Paddy has with me seems slightly crippling, frankly.  You and Pringle will be fine and dandy - and make the OH take things away from her in the evenings which she shouldn't have, too!  No reason why you should be the baddy!

Denise

[ClareB]

I think it's perfectly normal, but I had a similar thing with Milo.  I was the one who spent most time off work with him when we first got him and soon as my OH came home from work, Milo was ecstatic!    The first day I went back to work and OH had him, I got home and Milo took one look at me and then went and sat with his Dad!  It really upset me at the time. 

But now I think Milo loves us equally, but in different ways.  I do most of the walking, feeding, grooming etc and all Daddy is good for is playing!    I think it's a bit like having children - Mum does all the practical stuff with a bit of playing, while Dad does loads of playing and winding up before bedtime! 

I recently had a short stay in hospital which meant OH doing everything with Milo and in that short time he went from being a Mummy's boy to a Daddy's boy, all within the space of a few short days.     Once I got more involved with him again tho and OH back at work, things are soon back to normal!

I do think Denise has got a good point too, it would have been awful for my OH if Milo had been really down in the mouth while I was out of action.

[judebt]

hi ann . My mum is at home all day with Roxi and says she is an angel. Then the rest of us all arrive home and she turns into demon dog through pure excitement. She is probably just reacting to a new person coming into the house after it has just been you and her all day. I find the best way of bonding with a dog is through training it because it then associates you as being top dog and having fun, and also getting treats! When I was at home off work for the first week we had Roxi she was happy to be with me all day but as soon as the others arrived I was left for dust and basically ignored for the rest of the night. I dont think its a personal thing, just puppies being puppies. Im sure if you left your OH in the house with her all day and you came in she would go mad with excitement.
Judith and Roxi