Hello

[Julie Carter]

I just want to say how much that I have enjoyed reading all the col members stories and gorgeous photos.  I have found it particulary helpful the last couple of weeks.  At the moment  my family and I are feeling the heartbroken loss of our beautiful SHADOW.  He was a ten year old blue roan cocker spaniel and our most loyal and faithful friend.  He died on April 5th with me stroking him as he fell asleep. For the last ten years I have hardly ever left a room without him following me. I almost can not bear to come down in the mornings and not be greeted by him.  I feel so very lonely.  Shadow was my first ever dog and I have never felt this way before. If there is anyone out there who could give any advice on how they coped if it has ever happened to them i would be really grateful. Many thanks Julie

[ClareB]

So sorry to hear about Shadow.     We lost our previous Cocker last year at age 15 and we were heartbroken.  I don't think there is any advice I can give on how to deal with it - everyone's so very different.  For us, the house felt so empty without a dog and we brought Milo home just 8 weeks later.  Although he'll never replace Barney, we love him to bits and he has helped to fill the void.  However, my friend recently lost her dog and she is just not interested in having another at the moment.  I think you just have to take each day as it comes and treasure the memories you have of Shadow.  I know there are pet bereavement counsellors around so maybe you might feel it beneficial to talk to one of them?  Anyway, our thoughts are with you at this devastating time. 

[Elisa]

Welcome to COL, I only wish it could have been a happier introduction for you 

[sharesy]

So sorry you are feeling so sad about losing Shadow. We lost Molly our Golden Retriever in Nov she was our first dog and we miss her really badly. We have got another puppy now, Kalli is a black cocker. There is no way Kalli will ever replace Molly but the house was empty without a dog. Some days are worse than others, I call them my " Molly days". Its very hard because your whole day revolves around them, or at least mine did. I suppose its just time that heals like they say, and its very early days. I really wish I could say something to make you feel better, but I can't, I am thinking of you though and I do know how you feel

[sayaka]

I just lost my dog daisy to lung cancer on the 29th March, and the first few days were awful. The silence is the worst bit and also waiting to hear the patter of her paws in the kitchen. Being just a family of me and my mum, having a dog made us a family of three and even though we had 3 weeks between her diagnosis and having to have her put to sleep, and spoilt her to bits, it was still a horrible emotional kick in the stomach.

One thing mum and I did was to gather up all the pictures we had of our daisy and make an album. We bought a beautiful new frame and had a picture of her on our mantlepiece and on our laptop desktops. We also watched videos that I'd taken of her in her last few weeks, that not only comforted us to 'see' and 'hear' her but also convinced us that she was really really ill, and it wasn't fair to keep her with us just because we loved her so much.

we tried to go out as much as possible so we didn't have to be alone, but that's a personal thing. 3 days later we went to battersea but no luck, and 2 weeks later after lots of research on cockers and puppies (the only thing I could concentrate on except crying) we got poppy. For us, getting Poppy is helping to say goodbye and let go and know that Poppy can't replace Daisy but she can have her own role in our family (chewing things up).

It is true, every day makes it a little easier, and lots of hugs from everyone else helps
We're planning a spot to put her ashes in the garden at the moment and give her a nice spot to be remembered in.

What I keep telling myself is I only feel this bad because I loved her so much, and that helps a little. *hug*

[Julie Carter]

I can,t thank everyone enough for your kind words and thoughts. Just talking about him to people who understand what it feels like really helps.

I have thought about getting another puppy and the joy that would bring, but my circumstances are so different now to when we first had Shadow. I was at home at lot more then and now I have to work full time, but its possible I could come home during my  lunch hour but I'm not sure that would be enough. 
Is there anyone who could advise me about this?

Love
Jule

[ClareB]

Having a puppy when you work full time isn't always ideal - especially in the early days of toilet training. I'm fortunate in as much as Milo comes to work with me, so leaving him for more than an hour or so early on was never a big issue for us.  Personally, if I was at work full time and was thinking of taking on a new dog, I'd take on something a bit older from rescue.  Leaving them all day would be a bit too long though, we only ever leave Milo for a maximum of 4 hours at a time.  If you can go home at lunchtime and give the dog a good run, that would break the day up for him, either that or employ a dog walker to take him out for an hour or so at some point during the day.  I know quite a few dog owners who work full time and have this arrangement.   

[Penelope]

Hi Julie
So sorry to hear about your loss.  When our dog Scruffy died, someone told me that I will always have a "Scruffy" sized hole in my heart, but that the edges will gradually get a bit blurry, and even though that hole will never be filled in, it won't always be quite as big or as deep as it was at the beginning. 
We lost Scruffy last September, and even though we have 2 other dogs, I am crying while I type this to you.
It does get easier, but I am certain it never goes away.
The hole left when a dog goes can't be filled by getting another dog - your beautiful Shadow can never be replaced - but you may need something to help blur the edges sooner rather than later!
Best wishes, and sending you happy thoughts hoping you will remember lots of the happy times you had with Shadow.
xxxx

[Annette]

HI Julie, and welcome to COL.

I am so sorry to hear about Shadow. I can imagine how hard it is although I have never had to go through it really.

[Nicola]

Hi Julie, welcome to COL. So sorry to hear about your Shadow; I lost my GSD 4 years ago and you never stop missing them but eventually you will find that you can look back and remember all your happy times together with a smile rather than tears. No dog can ever be replaced but each one will create their own special place in your heart.

[Jax]

Dear Julie - so sorry to hear of your loss and I know how bad you must be feeling. Like you I lost my first ever dog just over a year ago, a springer spaniel called Badger, who had been by my side for over fifteen years.  They give you such joy but then leave such a large void and at the time it seems like a very special chapter of your life has closed. If its any help to you, we got the best pictures of Badger out on show and buried his ashes in a specially chosen shrub in the garden where we sit. His collar is still by the side of my bed and so I always feel he is with me and hope he feels he is not forgotten.  We did get another Springer pup, a little girl, shortly afterwards, partly because our cocker spaniel was fretting for his brother. Lucy is like Badger in many ways, but different too, so she hasn't simply replaced him. She's joined our lives to keep Badger's bed warm and look after his toys.  You need to judge for yourself whether another pup would be right for you but I wish you luck in whatever you do and hope you feel better soon. Time is a great healer.

[Lumi]

Hello. Sorry to hear of your loss. Only other dog owners understand what you're going through so you're in the right place for support.

[Woody's Mum]

Hello and welcome.

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss of Shadow.