Seperation Stress....

[amanda9586]

We seem to be getting into a bit of a problem with Poppy and I just want to nip it in the bud before it gets any worse really.

As we both work at home (and on the days we are out Poppy is with people all day) she is not used to being left for any length of time on her own.

We made the decision that at night she sleeps downstairs in the utility room (with baby gate on) and after a few sleepless nights she is now great and is left overnight downstairs on own no problems.

The issue seems to be leaving her during the day.  I've read all the posts about building up the amount of time that she has to be left alone etc and we have started to try to do that and also we have a DAP spray to make her feel a bit more calm.  We have also been shutting the doors between us during the day to make sure that she starts to get the idea that she cant follow us all over the house etc.

However it does not seem to be getting any better.  I have just been outside talking to a neighbour for about 10 mins and I could hear her whining and then when I came back in a big Poo trodden all over the place!!  eeeeekkkk!  This is the worst bit that she seems to always do a Poo and I'm wondering if the Poo's are stress induced as I had only taken her out about 20 mins before......

Ahhhhh!!! I dont think there is any easy answer to this appart from keep going with what we are doing (unless there is some other advice - Please!).

We LOVE having Poppy but I also need to be able to go out of the house for an hour or two without having to don the rubber gloves and start scrubbing when I get back (PLEASE LET IT BE SOON!)

I have a doctors appointment this afternoon!!

Thanks for listening - I think I feel a bit less stressed - not sure about Poppy 

[cazza]

I'd start with putting Poppy in the utility for a minute (and you go in a part of the house that she can't see you) and when she is quiet go back in and praise her    Build up the time slowly and I mean minute by minute

It'll take a while but it should pay dividends as long as you are consistant, and she will get to know that you are going to come back to her 

I'm sure someone else will be along soon with some other helpful things for you to try.

Good luck at the Dr's today hope all is ok

[MacTavish Boys]

I agree with Caroline, just build the time up gradually minute by minute, have you thought about using a buster cube or similar, so she could occupy herself with this, or perhaps a nice stuffed kong, i did this with both George and Hamish and it seemed to help. just try not to get too stressed, easier said than done i know, as  puppies do tend to pick up on it. George and Hamish are both very good at being left at home alone,but woe betide me, if i go into a shop and OH has them outside or even my Mum and they can see me, they absolutely howl this is literally popping in and out of a shop. i am sure that in time, she will be fine.
Good luck

stephanie, George and Hamish xxx

[jakesmum]

I always give Jake a stuffed Kong when I go out. Actually it's the only time I do it, so he must associate the two events, but still he gets really excited when I go and pick up the kong to fill it....and he doesn't even look up when I leave the house.

Me though, I suffer terrible separation anxiety. I'm bad enough leaving him in the morning and at lunch time to go back to work, but I don't have a social life anymore as I don't want to leave him. When I do go out, I'm terrible for coming home early as I don't want to leave him too long.

I'm not complaining though - it's entirely my choice....Jake is my baby and spending time with him is precious to me. In fact, after 9 weeks I don't know what I ever did without him...he's such a source of fun and happiness.

Will I grow out of it I wonder...or maybe get worse??

[amanda9586]

Have been doing the building up time stuff - will just have to keep that up I guess (I'm hoping its a bit like housetraining where you think they are never going to get it and then suddenly it just happens.....)

She does not seem that interested in the stuffed kong....  Perhaps will have to try better treats in it.... 

Well I'm going to have to leave her for about 3/4 of an hour later to go to doc's so please please please no papers everywhere and big poo to come home to.....

Perhpas just take out for another quick walk first!

Thanks - Amanda

[Claire83]

Hi Amanda, I can only second what the others have said by building time up bit by bit. We have Roxy who is also 20 weeks today, and we leave her for 1-2 hours a day (not everyday tho).
We make sure that she has been walked and fed, been for a wee / pooh and then play with her for a while before we go out. We tend to give her a distraction and talk to her before going out to settle her...  we actually learned the "settle" technique at our puppy class and it works really well with Roxy.

She has a chew toy like a stuffed kong and she goes in to her crate with it and all we do is quietly say "settle" repeatedly in a quiet voice until she is calm enough for us to walk away and close the door. She too used to cry awfully when we left her and so we used the technique by leaving her for a minute and returning and building it up gradually a couple of minutes at a time. She is now really good and even at night when we shut the door she goes straight to her crate and we don't hear a peep out of her all night. Regarding night times we are cheating a bit though because jessie our cat sleeps with her so i guess she has a companion. 

Good luck with Poppy though, she's gorgeous. x

[cazza]

I always leave the dogs with a kong each    Braan in his crate and fern and Jock shut in the same room

I put in a bit of bread and a small squirt of cheese and then some liver cake and kibble - sometimes I'll put in sausage and cheese - others some peanut butter just round the inside (It all depends on how long I'm going out for which I give, if for not very long then it's peanut butter or cheese just spread round the inside of the kong  )

I never leave them with hide chews or anything like that when i go out - except for today but then OH was here to watch them 

[floydlennon]

sorry cant help u with this one i just never leave him i take him everywhere with me and if i have a night out or anything he goes to family but not had to do this yet

[Potter]

Hi there

I can relate to your post.      I have my puppy with me at work all day too - she's 5.5 months, and she has come to work with me since day one.  (She's asleep on my feet now - and yes, I am meant to be working!) 

I too was worried about separation anxiety, and there are times when I have to run errands for the business and myself.  I make sure I do these errands when Daisy is well walked, well toileted and ready for a doze.  I then confine her to the kitchen in the house, with a stuffed kong and favourite toys, water and paper for "accidents".  I have a little TV in the kitchen and leave that on when Daisy is in the house alone.  The longest I've been away is 3 hrs - unexpectedly, a train arrived late, and I was collecting number one son!!

I usually leave her once or twice a week, in this set up, for about an hour.  Everytime I return she's fast asleep. 

However, I had to build up to this.     When she was very, very tiny, she was very much my shadow, so I started by going in and out of the kitchen, making no fuss at all when I returned.  She very quickly got used to this - do it several times a day, building up the time you are out of the room.    

Timing is everything, and practising this when they are ready for a doze is just perfect.     You can then extend the in and out of the room, for example, by going upstairs and doing all the dusting upstairs.  (Good for the soul, you know!)  If he whines or yips, just carry on, wait until there is a moment's peace and quiet, then calmly walk in, ignoring the puppy and carry on regardless.  It does take a few days for the whining to calm down, but each day you can build up the amount of time you are away from them.   

Some weeks I don't need to be out at all, but I make sure I leave her for a little time in the house on her own at least once a week, just so she doesn't forget how to cope.

Good luck!

Kay
-x-

[amanda9586]

Thanks every so much everyone for your advice....

We are working on the leaving alone and trying to build up time appart shutting doors after we leave etc and this is getting better - she doesn't cry as much but still sits staring at the door till we come back - I've also been ignoring her when we do come back in till she calms down (instructed OH to do this as well).  We have the DAP spray, the radio on, toys and Kongs out !! 

Only a little wee when I got back from doctors the other day but she was frantically panting (which is what worries me - mess can be cleaned up thats not really an issue so much as the stress on her).

She is sleepy now so I'm going to take the opportunity to go and tidy upstairs as suggested and see if we can get to half an hour without too much stress. 

The thing is you  them so much that its hard not to just let them follow you around if they want to but we need to get to stage where we can leave her for an hour stress free - SO I'LL JUST KEEP AT IT....

It reminds me of the house training we wondered if that would ever happen but I guess you just have to stick with the routine and keep building it up bit by bit.....

Thanks again - Amanda

PS - tried the stuffed kong yesterday with her (she has not really shown that much interest before but she seemed to like it yesterday.

[Potter]

Hi Amanda

I don't think you said how old Poppy is?  (Sorry if you did!)  It might be that as she gets a little older, she will become a little more confident and bolder and you will find the separation easier to cope with.  For both of you!     Daisy is 5.5 months now and we have only just got to the stage I mentioned earlier.  I think I started the separation when she was about 12/13 weeks.  Like you, with being constantly with her all day at the office and at home, and her not being a very bold little puppy, I could see a difficult situation coming if I didn't start separation fairly soon.  You don't want to, but it is for their benefit, not yours.

And if she is with you all day, she is naturally going to wonder why she can't be with you when you leave the room.      What you are trying to do is reassure her that whenever you leave the room, you will always come back.      Might be a little time, might be a bit longer time, but you will always come back.  By making no fuss when you return, that will reinforce the fact that it's no big deal.   

Daisy wasn't very interested in kongs either to begin with, and you have to be careful not to fall into the trap of putting "rubbish" food in them just to make it more interesting - I speak from experience here!    I found too, that if I made it too hard for the food to come out of the kong, Daisy just gave up very quickly.  Perhaps you could try a chewie type toy?  Once Daisy gets "zoned in" with chewing, she forgets everything else, and if it's something she's meant to chew rather than chewing the house, so much the better!    Plus, I find a chewie toy makes her more sleepy.  Again, this came with time as Daisy approached the teething time.

It does all take time and there is no quick fix.  But if you are consistent, that is absolutely the key.  Every now and then I have to go right back to basics with Daisy - and more so now that she is coming up to the  horrid 6 - 9 months "teenage" period!  Deep joy! 

Good luck!

Kay
-x-

[tracyd]

I tried leaving allsorts to entertain bailey whilst we are out, But he was the same.  If we are in with him all day he can go the whole day without going out for a wee or pooh, but the minute we leave him even if just for 10 minutes we come back to a mess.  I'm sure he does it out of spite at being left!  He also scratched at the kitchen door and doorframe alot. 

Whenever we go anywhere now we lock him in his crate with a couple of toys and he is fine in there for a couple of hors.  If we know we are going to be longer than this we arrange for a friend to come and let him out for a while and put him back in.  He is a much happier dog now and when we put him out in the garden for a wee and he comes back in to see we have our coats on he gets straight into his crate and lies down. 

If he didnt like to go in it i feel he would need to be bribed into it, but as he hops in quite happily and sits waiting for me to close it, i'm sure he doesn't mind.