Am I a suitable owner?

[purdyrose]

I am so confused with all the thoughts going on in my head and perhaps need some outside views.I have recently lost my 13yr cocker & now in the process of choosing another puppy in 2 weeks time.I work 2 days a week but my OH is at home every day from lunchtime.I also have 4/5 days off at a time.We don't go out  in the evenings but possibly an odd Sat night out.As my old dog was okay with all this, is this okay for a puppy.I intend to have 2 weeks off initially when the puppy comes.I just want to do the best thing for the dog but I am worried about this puppy stage.
Another thing that worries me is that I am afraid of most other dogs that I don't know.When I took my oldie out for her walks  I did tend to stear clear of other dogs & she was fine and happy -I took her to 1 class years ago but I was a nervous wreck with all the other dogs coming near me so I never went back.She was just happy being with me it seemed.I will try to be different with a new puppy but am I being selfish & cruel.
The puppy is from a show line and I'm sure it will be fine with me but I'm now worrying about it's temperament - what if it doesn't like me and snaps. I just want to love the dog like I did my oldie and all these doubts are making me ill. Can anyone give me their opinion.
I actually didn't have a holiday for years and put-off going out co's I wanted to stay with my dog so don't think I'm a bad owner.....I'm just a bit nervous but want to love my new puppy. My friend recently got a new puppy and after 1 day, took it back co's she couldn't bond with it so I suppose this has put doubts in my mind.
Look forward to hearing from anyone with your views.
 

[ladylola]

Aww sorry to hear you lost your old dog, I don't think the amount of time you are planning on leaving your pup is a problem. But your fear of other dogs maybe. A puppy needs continual socialisation from a young age. Puppy socialisation classes are great for teaching puppy manners and bite inhibition. Most puppies also mouth a lot and will chew on you, and yes it does hurt. I would advise you to have a crate or playpen for your pup when it is left with plenty of toys and chewy. A new puppy will not take the place of your old dog it will probably be very different a dog in it's own right. I also don't think one night is enough to bond with a pup, they are hard work and at times drive you bonkers  I have 3 dogs now and at times I think what have I done but I wouldn't part with any of them and they all have different personalities. I hope everything works out for you, it is good that you are thinking about any difficulties you may have.

[PennyB]

Am sure you will be fine. Make sure you socialise your pup well, even before you're allowed to put them down on the ground (carry them out and about to get them used to the sights and sounds of the world outside your home).

Also try to make sure dog a bit more independent of you so you can go out without them sometimes without worry (on your part or on theirs --- helps prevent separation anxiety which can be quite crippling) and also so that when you are out they don't become protective of you.

I work from home (and live on my own) but I make sure my dogs can be independent from me if I do need to be away from them either for work or pleasure and so I worked towards this (they're not always with me in the house when I'm working plus I go out without them sometimes), plus I also socialised them well with other dogs (either walking with other dogs of all ages and going to puppy classes then other dog training classes) --- part of my enjoyment of walking them is meeting other like-minded people while I'm out who often have dogs themselves so mine can mix freely and happily with them.

[Jan/Billy]

Hi,

So sorry for your loss  

If I am being honest I think you are worrying way too much. Try and relax and think of the good things and not all the bad. Providing you buy a pup from a reputable breeder that is well socialised there is a minimal mininal chance that it will have a bad temperament. This is within your control. The best thing you can do is be 100% happy with the breeder of your choice and continue with the socialisation once the pup is home. Everything will be fine.

Well run training classes will be fun for both you and your pup. The more positive different experiences it has, the more likely it is to be able to play/meet all dogs so you won't have the issues of having to stear clear of other dogs like you have had to do in the past.

No offence towards your friend but to take a puppy back after just one day because you didn't bond is pathetic   Yes they are hard work but the rewards you receive are well work the effort.

Your home life sounds just fine. There are lots of doggy care options around these days ie pet sitters etc so you can have your dog and go on holiday too! Aldo there are lots of wonderful uk dog friends type holidays too  


Chill out a little and try not to worry  

[PennyB]

No offence towards your friend but to take a puppy back after just one day because you didn't bond is pathetic   Yes they are hard work but the rewards you receive are well work the effort.

I agree as it takes time and work to bond with a new dog but its also best not to overdo it as well. As Jan says relax, its not a race

[badgeralbert]

Hi Purdyrose,

No advice really, just sorry to see you worrying so much.  No puppy/dog would ever replace your angel but would have its own personalities in its own right.  I know exactly how you feel as I too am experiencing the same feelings but we still have Badger with us at the moment, allbeit sleeping nearly all the time but no pain I am pleased to say, although the ducklings have perked him up somewhat so I hope a puppy will too, to a point, I am still thinking about it, mulling it over and over as you do!  I am also worried about temperament, etc of a new dog.  I think because we have been so lucky with our first loves it makes it worrying to think about a second.

I am always at home because I work for myself from home, although in the holidays I would take the children out and if we go to a theme park we would have to leave the dog by itself, Badger has managed fine with this over the years, so I am sure it would adjust, as yours would too.  If we go out at night we have to have babysitters anyway, so it still wouldnt be by itself in our situation but I am sure it would, they adjust, dont they.

I think the main worry is that you are scared of other dogs, any in particular?  Are you scared of puppies also?  You need to think back to how you overcome the fear with the first dog, and why would anything be different this time?  Have you been to see the pups yet?  If not when do you go?

As I said before I dont have any experience, this is just my opinion, glad to see you are OK.

[spanielcrazy]

Just the fact that you are asking the question puts you off to a good start  Many people get a dog on a whim without any thought for how it will fit in 

Bonding with a puppy takes time, in the first few days you and puppy are a bit overwhelmed, and the puppy is very busy exploring it's new home, so doesn't focus as much on you. That will come in time. It's a relationship that is constantly evolving over the lifetime of the dog 

If you are afraid of other dogs you can start out small, perhaps you can go back to the breeder to socialize with their dogs (another reason to find a good reputable breeder  ) or gather a group of dog owning friends who have dogs you are comfortable with, or a puppy class where the puppies are all small and not so threatening

The new puppy can never be or take the place of your old dog, so make sure you give it the space to develop it's own personality and relationship with you. I totally agree with Jan, the more you can relax and let things just flow, the more successful you will be 

[purdyrose]

Thank you very much all that have sent their views to me and yes, I suppose I am worrying too much. I will certainly go to a puppy class as suggested - that would be just ideal.
I went to a friends yesterday and she has a cocker & some sort of Mountain Dog(biggo - like a donkey) and I must admit that I was amazed that I even went into the house but I wasn't too worried so I must be getting better.I decided to leave though when it wanted to chew my foot!!!! Time to go......I think if it had jumped up on me though I would have froze!!! I'll be alright with my own,
I am prepared for the hard work - it's just nice at the mo not having to wash paintwork, floors and windows every day! I am walking around the house with no one to talk to when OH is out. OH has offered to lay on my lap and that I can stroke him!!! No, seriously, I know I must relax - it's just that it's a puppy.
Hello Badgeralbert-glad to know Badger is still with you-I still feel guilty about Purdyrose & that maybe I should have held on a bit more but I have got to stop tormenting myself-she's now at rest Bless Her. I go to see the puppies in 2 weeks time to choose and then collect July.
Take care  Leigh

[*sammy*]

i don't like dogs i don't know i'm fine ish with little ones but big ones scare me. 

sam is one now and i have made the effort to socialise him with all dogs. we have started training classes now which i think is helping us both

[louis mum]

I too lost my 11 yr old in October last year and had many of the thoughts you are experiencing.

All I can say is go for it.  I was pushed by my OH to get Alfie if I am honest, but I love him to bits now he is here. 

He is not like my old boy atall really, he has his own little personality, which I love as I did my Louis. 

Today for instance, I looked at him and though 'what would I do without you' 

Yes it is such hard work with a pup, but so rewarding watching them develop.

Good luck with your visit, let us know how it goes. 

[ludo]

Hi - sorry to hear you lost your dog after many years.    It sounds to me like you will give a puppy a very loving home  there is one thing for sure you will get lots of support and useful advice on here should you have questions along the way  with the puppy classes you may find it helps to talk to the trainer and explain your anxiety with the other dogs so they can help you with this while you train your puppy -  - if you check out the Association for Pet Dog Trainers website you will be able to find classes provided by people who only use kind methods of training and also would be able to ask about the size of classes as a smaller class may suit you better  It would be lovely to see some pics of your puppy when you bring him/her home  Enjoy!!