Purdey - crying all night

[stuffster]

Hi guys

Ive read all the threads on here so not particularly looking for advice - just a sympathetic ear! Tonight is Purdey's second night in the house, and she has been crying since 11pm without pause for breath! Last night she seemed to fall asleep every hour or so, but tonight she seems much more determined to stay awake all night. 

She is in the kitchen with her lovely sheepskin bed which she loves and has her snuggly toys. I tried sleeping on the sofa so she could see me through the stairgate, but she just howled and barked non-stop. Our bedroom really doesnt have room for a crate (or even a puppy) so bringing her upstairs is not an option.

My main worry is the nightmare neighbour (who threatens legal action if you park on her bit of kerb!) - my OH was nearly beside himself yesterday that she would make a formal complaint about the noise and we would have to give Purdey away! Well actually I think he was more worried about his own actions if the neighbour DID go down that route and what he might do to her!

Poor OH is finding having new pup very difficult. He lost his cocker, Hattie,  2 years ago (just before we met) and is still grieving badly for her. He was sobbing this morning because all the feelings of losing her are brought back to the surface by having a new (quite similar looking) puppy. His dog helped him through  alot of bad times and was his whole life. Im hoping each day with Purdey will get a bit easier for him, and might actually start helping him get over his loss! 

Ah....miracle of miracles. While Ive been typing it has actually gone quiet downstairs! Best go back to bed while it lasts!  Night!

[Brimbeck(Dyllan)]

Those early nights seem to go on forever. Which every way you decide to do it, it does get better
I must admit my two were in a cardboard box upstairs with me for the first week just to get them to settle and then I gradually moved them further away. I'd not planned to do that but after a few nights they did settle.


Hope you got some sleep
Sarah

[emilymae]

No advice really I'm afraid, apart from it will get better eventually.    I must admit I had Emily in with us on a beanbag,  from the first night, and have never had a problem with sleepless nights.  Hang in there. 

[jools]

You know, when I was looking at those beautiful photos of Purdey coming home, I was about to type - she looks like an angel now but just wait until the middle of the night when she's howling like a banshee. I didn't bother typing that coz I thought it would sound really negative and take the shine off....but the truth is, we've all been there....the first few nights / weeks can be horrendous!!!

When we got Bramble and Poppy, one of us ended up sleeping snuggled up on the sofa with them for the first few nights. It was like having a new baby in the house. Poppy was a bit easier, because she had Bramble to keep her company in the night.

In an ideal world, you'd leave Purdey to settle in her own time, but that isn't always practical if you have young kids in the house and the neighbour from hell!

To be honest, I'd bite the bullet and either sleep on the sofa with her or bring her bed into your room.

As far as your OH is concerned, I can understand how bringing Purdey into the house has opened up wounds from his own cocker. I'm pretty sure there will a be a bit of guilt / disloyalty being felt too; it's natural. I am sure that, given time, he'll really bond with Purdey and that she will help him get over his other cocker.

This will get better - promise. x

[stuffster]

To be honest, I'd bite the bullet and either sleep on the sofa with her or bring her bed into your room.

In the end she settled down at about 3am until 5.30am. When she woke then, I waited for a quite moment then let her out of the kitchen to come and sleep on the sofa with me. I justified it to myself that it was daylight, but we had a lovely snuggly snooze!! I am worried if I sleep with her on the sofa at night, she is never going to want to sleep anywhere else! Personally I'd rather have her in the bedroom (or even in the bed, but OH is determined she should stay downstairs til she is toilet trained (carpet is upstairs only!!)

As far as your OH is concerned, I can understand how bringing Purdey into the house has opened up wounds from his own cocker. I'm pretty sure there will a be a bit of guilt / disloyalty being felt too; it's natural. I am sure that, given time, he'll really bond with Purdey and that she will help him get over his other cocker.

I think you are right about the disloyalty - he has kept Hattie on a pedestal in his mind for so long, that when he is cuddling Purdey he feels like he is betraying her memory. Luckily (apart from the sleeping) Purdey is extremely easy to love - like all cockers, she is just a real soppy sweetheart, so Im sure if he will let her, she will work her way into his heart pretty soon!

[laurenollie]

Just keep at the nights - they do get easier!! I always felt so cruel leaving Ollie but we too need our sleep!! You just have to keep working at it - Ollie settled properly after about a week of crying! As for your neighbout - and don't hink it would turn into too much of problem as eventually Purdey will settle and then he'd have nothing to fall back on if he reported you!

Good luck - it will get easier!

L&O x

[mharriss]

If you (or you other half  ) has made the decion for Purdey to sleep downstairs then stick to it.  Charlie cried the first few nights but it did stop.  He will still cry now if things are not exactly right ie: the TV goes off, he has his two blankets, the crate is covered, he has the blue cuddly toy and he hears the toilet flush twice!  Think he may have a case of obsessive disorder    But you could try a firm routine each night before bed so she knows what is going to happen.  Making a fuss when you come down in the morning  so she knows you WILL come back.  Know you simply cannot compare the two but babys need routine perhaps puppies do too??

As for your other half and his grieving I cant help re that as thankfully never lost a dog as Charlie is my first, but really hope he feels better soon.

Keeping fingers crossed for tonight for you.

[angelbaby]

sorry no advise, just wanted to send a hug to your OH, bless him, my boy is my life too and has helped me through what has been the toughest time in my life so the thought of losing him actually brings me to tears, so i can understand his feeling like that.
I hope Purdey settles soon xx

[lopey99]

thankfully we werent too bad with the sleepless nights - lasted for about a week or two but it was a long week or two especially as i dont handle sleep deprivation well. We felt she led us into a false sense of security as the first night there wasnt a peep out of her then it started on night two.

i dont really have any advice, we did let cassie cry, we agreed from the beginning she would never be in our bed or sleep upstairs and we stuck to it. She sleeps in her crate (not closed) which is in her pen in the kitchen and thankfully the kitchen is an extension so not attached to either neighbours. For first few weeks we put a hot water bottle in with her just for some warmth which was wrapped in a blanket we got from her mother.

It will get better, it'll just take time, i suppose it must be really hard for them leaving their litter and having to be on their own. Persistance will pay off, cassie now goes to bed without a fuss, and we have a wee routine although at times she is like a child when she knows we're getting ready for bed she'll run and hide under the sofa but we usually ignore her and go do something else and as she always has to be in middle of everything it doesnt take her long coming out.

good luck and it will improve but then will come the teething which we are currently experiencing - teeth marks to prove it 

[crunchie]

Oh bless you.  Pringle wasn't too bad.  The second night she really started wailing when we put her to bed.  I think I was up until about 2am with her.  I would wait until she dropped off (or so I thought) and then try and creep away, but as soon as I moved she started howling again. 

After that we used to try and make sure she didn't sleep too much before bedtime.  We used to play with her and try and keep her awake and routine played a big part as well.  She had her cage and her pink pig which she had the first day we got her and which she still takes to bed with her to this day (she is 2 now) and is the only soft toy she hasn't ripped to pieces 

As for your OH, mine was much the same.  I had to wait 5 years after losing our previous cockers before he would consider getting another dog and if I am honest, he was fairly reluctant to get Pringle.  We had had Pringle a couple of weeks and I was sat in the lounge when he came in crying his eyes out with little Pringle trotting along behind him.  I thought something awful  had happened but he was crying because he was so happy to have a little dog following him everywhere he went again, how much he had missed having one and how much he loved Pringle already    So it won't take long.  She is now a real daddies girl and he just can't leave her alone, is always playing with her and hugging her and kissing her.

Good luck.  It will get better.

[Angels of Fur]

Sorry nt really here to offer advice, im only new to puppy's myself!! But i want to give you my ear for Sympathy!!! 

And your OH of Course, losing an animal is like losing a part of your own. 

Was lucky with Alfie, first night was quiet, next couple were'nt even bad - i look back - 5 weeks and think how far we have come from there - i remember it was a hard first week, but 5 weeks on and the arrival of pup two on Alfies third week i have already forgotton how difficult i found it, time passes by so quickly, treasure it!!

How was Purdey when you picked up her, was she the last pup to be taken or the first, was she brought up around lots of other ppl or was she from a Breeders in kennel type atmosphere?

I had Alfie who was bred at someones house but in a converted garage, he did not get much interaction with ppl so he is a bit of a squealer with new ppl at the moment, Honey was brought up in my Aunts home so her arrival was great and she is so confident around new ppl - luckily its rubbing off onto Alfie now.

But in a few weeks time - your be posting a thread saying how easy its become and the nights have got easier i assure you 

Enjoy everything you have with Purdey, cherish every second of everyday - like your OH will know about. - Alfie & Honey send slobberly kisses and wagging tails - 

[stuffster]

The funny thing is she is a totally confident little pup during the daytime - some might say a litle bit cocky for one so young 

Ive been really surprised how quickly she has settled in - on her first day here, she was charging around after her toys, jumping with all 4 feet in the air with excitement when we throw her a ball etc, and she just loves people. I think the breeders spent a lot of time handling the pups because they were very sociable and they were in a lively household full of other soppy cockers!

Its just going to take a while for her to get used to, being separated from her mum and her pack! We have a crate arriving tomorrow so hopefully that might calm her down a bit, as she was in one at the breeders so it will be familiar to her.

I keep trying to encourage her to stay awake and play now so she will be tired tonight, but she has been sleeping for england this morning! 

Thanks to all for advice and sympathy for OH. He seems a bit better today already - she is working her Cocker charm on him.  :luv:Yesterday he was saying he would happily give her back (if it wasnt for being lynched by me and the kids) but when I asked him today if he still felt that way, while she lay on her back in his arms, he gave me a soppy smile and said she could probably stay!! I dont know if he will ever let himself get too close though, because he is so scared of feeling that hurt again.

Time will tell.

[Dunton4]

I'm not sure if this would help at all, but it helped me when Tilly was a puppy.  I found that when she was in her lovely comfy open bed she cried like crazy, but when I put her in her crate, with a blanket over the top and three sides, she settled very quickly.  I'm not sure if this is right, but I thought she might feel more secure in a "den" where she could be confident she wouldn't be "attacked" from behind or the side.  The difference was quite miraculous and even now, if I even leave Tilly's crate door open to give her more freedom, she gets unsettled and cries and she's 5    She is quite a confident dog in every other respect.  She loves sleeping in her open basket during the day, but no way Jose at night. 

I'm not sure if you have something you could cover for her to sleep in and create a "den" but it might be worth a go? 

Good luck anyway!  Purdey is beautiful btw - I have seen the photos 

Sue and Tilly

[Joules]

I'm not sure if this would help at all, but it helped me when Tilly was a puppy.  I found that when she was in her lovely comfy open bed she cried like crazy, but when I put her in her crate, with a blanket over the top and three sides, she settled very quickly. 

Coco was the same - she settled much better in a small enclosed space - I put a cardboard box in the crate with a blanket in and covered the crate and she went to sleep no probs.   

Hope you find a solution soon - those first days and weeks are very hard work esp if you don't get much sleep 

[SarahS]

I was very strange and slept downstairs in the kitchen on a camp bed next to his crate.  I didn't want him to wake the children, yet I wanted him to feel secure in the place I eventually wanted him to end up in. Over a period of a few days I moved further away from the cage, the door was open. Once I was happy that he liked his bed and was more used to the house.  Then I slept one night on the sofa, and then finally shut the door and went upstairs.  But everyone thought I was completely bonkers. But we didn't have any crying and he now sleeps all night, without mess, and has done since he was tiny.