Riley and an update on our circumstances

[c19unn]

Well i havent posted for a while as i wanted to let things die down a bit as things got a bit heated   
As most of you know we decided to get a second pup.....

Some were in favour some thought i was mad. I may recieve some 'told you so' but i have had a lot of lovely PM's from a few of you asking about how im getting on, how the pups are getting on and also some very lovely messages asking where iv been. So here is the story and i know that some will judge but at the end of the day I enjoy being on the site and i would like to share the story - Here is a shorter version as alot has happened in 14 days and i could be here for a very long time so i shall try and keep it to the facts  .....

We got Riley almost 3 weeks ago, a gorgeous Tri Colour Cocker Spaniel with eyes that could melt any heart... He was gorgeous and OH fell instantly in love with him.

We introduced the two dogs with OH holding little Riley sitting on the floor and Diesel getting to approach the pup and say hello in his own time or way.
We both had time off work to try and make sure that the change went as smoothly as possible and to try and support each other over the following days.

Basically Diesel and the pup did Not get on. The pup wasnt allowed any toys, diesel got possessive over food and didnt let the pup go near the bowls, he grabbed all the toys off the pup and hid them where he couldnt get them. He became possessive over me not letting pup or OH near me without growling and going for them. He started barking all through the night, And was fighting with the pup constantly. It got to the point where we could not leave them in the room unattented. Diesel was getting aggressive towards the OH when he was trying to split the pups up. Diesel started biting the pup to the point where the pup was squealing, the pup started retaliating and it resulted in OH trying to seperate them, the pup bit onto Diesels ear and it started bleeding. Diesel then got worse as the first week past.
The last straw came when the two of them started fighting and OH was out (teeth on show, growling and no wagging tails) The pup had grabbed the side of diesels mouth and diesel started squealing, I was trying to split them up or at least grab one of them, Diesel then pinned the pup to the floor, and grabbed the pup by the neck, the pup was squealling and i had to physically remove diesels mouth from the pups neck.

At that point i had a pup that was in danger of being harmed if he was ever left alone with diesel, and diesel turning into a dog that was possessive, agressive, turning on the OH when he tried to split them up, Diesel Howling and scratching the door all night and wouldnt settle.
Even if the OH took the pup on his knee so that Diesel could come to me Diesel would just sit in front of OH and pup Growling and trying to grab him. He was always growling and refused to let anyone touch him or he would go for them constantly keeping the pup in sight and trying to grab at him.

I took the pup to the vet for a check up as after diesel had grabbed him the pups chest was .. trying to describe it .. but it was heaving like he had hiccups. The vet said the only way would be to have them both neutered but he said that the pup was very stressed. I spoke to OH and advised him that for the safety of the pup i didnt think it would be fair to keep him.

I spoke to the OH dad when he came up and advised him of what was going on - (OH Mum stopped visiting as she didnt want to witness them the way they were) his dad advised that if we didnt think that we would be able to keep the pup they would take him. They lost their King Charles 2 years ago and OH dad is medically retired and his mum works nightshift so someone would be available all day with the pup. They said that the pup had been brought into the family and it was not the pups fault that it was not working out and at least we could still see the pup and watch him grow.

So i made the choice to let the pup go to live with OH mum and dad. I honestly believe it was for the best. Diesel is getting back to his usual self, A bit unsettled still but not agrressive or possessive anymore. I have been visiting the pup at OH mum and dads everyday and he is so relaxed and settled and content with his toys. He is such an intelligent little thing, is fully house trained after 3 days there, he gets to sleep on The bed with OH mum and dad, he has learned how to go up and down the stairs, he asks to go for wees and just contents himself playing with his little rope toys and balls. He is starting to learn how to give a paw as well. He is so different to the pup we seen when we had him as he wasnt getting the opportunity to play and diesels behaviour was so extreme.

I am aware that this may have been a result of me getting the pup whilst diesel was so young. I am also aware that i may be shot down for this situation by fellow members. Like i say i just thought that everyone should know what has happened and why it has happened.

Please note that this has not been an easy decision, it broke my heart but has deeply upset the OH, he did not want the pup to go, not even to his Mum and Dads as he wanted them to get on so badly and had really taken a shine to the pup, I on the other hand had to do what was best for both dogs but primarily Diesel.

I just wanted to let you all know and to hear it from me.

Thanks Charlene

[dazza71]

Sorry to hear things didnt work out with the new pup - I can't begin to think how hard it must have been to watch them not getting on! This makes me realise how lucky I was when I got my second pup. I almost took it for granted that Bella would just accept little Ollie, but she did ( she's still the boss though). It's good to see you back though - it's been very quiet round here re.cently

[elaine.e]

I'm so sorry that it didn't work out Charlene

IMO there isn't necessarily a best age for your first dog to be when you get a second one. True, it can be very hard work having 2 puppies together, but it can also be argued that a puppy might accept a new puppy more readily than an adult dog would. I think the reality is that there is no way of knowing if it will work until you try.

From what you've described, Diesel was never going to accept Riley. Sadly, that's how it goes sometimes. You aren't the first person on COL who's had to make the heartbreaking decision to rehome and I'm sure you won't be the last. It's not an easy thing to do and it must have been an awful time for all of you.

I'm glad for all of you that Riley has settled in his new home and that Diesel is settling again

[8 Hairy Feet]

Hi Charlene it's nice to
hearfrom you but I'm sorry
things haven't worked out
I can imagine you've been having
a distressing time.
I won't add any more here and now,
I guess people will have their own opinion
but I know I've made plenty of mistakes
in my time!
steffxxx

[Lily Freya]

As heartbreaking as I imagine it is for you right now Charlene, I think you are doing the puppy a kindness.  At least you will still see him at your in-laws home, hey?

Lots of people have discussed the topic of having young male dogs on here..............and things have not worked out smoothly for them either.

I let my heart rule my head, and got two together when my dog died...............luckily for me (they are three now), everything has gone well, and they get along fantastically.  The only real issue has been that of training two together.  But, we are getting there.

I am sorry it didn't work out for you all.  But, at least you are putting the puppy first.  

Sending lots of cyber hugs your way. xxx

[c19unn]

Thanks so much guys however i do take responsibility for my actions - So many people have so many different experiences and although some advised that diesel was too young some have said that it worked for them. I would never have expected diesel to react like that to any dog but i do take acceptance to the fact that people did advise not to get a second so young - Some people have and it has worked for them. I also thought that a pup would accept a pup more than an adult would accept a pup but i will admit that clearly i was wrong.
I enjoy being a part of COL, During the first month of having diesel i recieved second to none advise from many people on the site, Lindsey included... I would like to stay on the forum as i have made some amazing friends on here. I may be putting myself in the firing line but i take responsibility for my choices and if it means that some may say told you so then so be it - Not everyone is going to think i done the best thing and thats fine. You all deserved to know what has went on and what has happened after me bugging you all with talk about getting a second it was only fair that i face up to the fact that i may have made the wrong choice getting a second. I dont know if it might have been different with a female or if Diesel was older or if diesel will never accept a second dog however i will admit that the last 3 weeks have been so emotional and heartbreaking with a lot of tears and i will not be taking the risk of getting a second ever again. Some have said that he may be fine when older but to be fair i have a pup that has had a terrible first two weeks away from its mum with Diesel being aggressive towards it and i dont ever want to risk that again or put any other dogs in that position or Diesel either.

Thank you all so much for being supportive - it is still difficult and the OH is refusing to visit the pup at the moment as he is quite hurt that it didnt work out. We honestly tried our best

Charlene x

[Salty24404]

Try not to be to hard in yourself hun.  There are may situations in life where hind sight would have been great  but that's now the way it works. Hopefully you can move on now and not feel guilty about  anything. You acted with good intentions. X

[Jonnydog]

Hi Charlene, it's good to hear from you again. Been worrying about you a bit and with good cause by the sound of it   What a shame Diesel and Riley didn't get on. Poor little Diesel's been through so much in his short life that obviously an interloper was the last straw. It's not his fault that he wants you to himself - it's just the way he's made. I think we can underestimate the effects of early experiences on a pup. Our Jess tore her cruciate ligament at twelve weeks and had to be kept in a cage for six weeks. As a result she wasn't well socialised and was always scared of new situations. She was very possessive of me, especially with other dogs, and I never trusted her with children. It wasn't her fault, and I and OH loved her to bits, but she would have been terrible with a pup.
Just enjoy wee Diesel and at least Riley-pup isn't too far away. I bet your OH's mum and dad are loving him to bits!
 

[Pauline T]

Oh Charlene am sorry to read this,  :016:you were so excited when Riley was coming, it is a shame it didn't work out as you would have loved.

As others have said I don't think there is any right or wrong time to introduce a second pup or dog, just the hard work of trying to train two pups at the same time.

I know I have made decisions in the past that have definitely not been good !! but we accept responsibility and do the best we can in the circumstances.

You have been very brave in making the right decision for Riley, I hope in time things will settle and they can be friends, even if they cant live together.

It is good to see you back on the forum

[Jonnydog]

I should have added that I think you made a really brave decision about rehoming Riley. 

[terwish]

Hi Charlene

I don't think you made a "mistake" in having 2 very young pups together - I did exactly the same thing.
We were just incredibly lucky that our two young pups (Pickle & Branston) - and Sparky, the much older dog too - all got along famously from day 1 - but it was luck and could have gone horribly wrong.

As it is, the most important part is that BOTH dogs have secure happy families to be spoilt rotten by!

Don't beat yourself up... enjoy your time with the gorgeous Deisel - and enjoy your visitation rights with Riley too!

Trish XxxX

[Neon]

We all learn from our "mistakes" in life (not calling what happened to you all a mistake, just unfortunate for you).  I can only say I think you've done the right thing, even though it has been upsetting for you and OH.  Little Riley deserves to have the best start in life, which he seems to be getting from OH's parents now.  And yes, your priorities had to be with the two pups.  Put it behind you now and enjoy Diesel, whilst helping him to settle back to "normal".

[maggieann]

I really feel for you, you can never tell whether things will work out between dogs. I recently had to return a puppy to its breeder, as the pup took a dislike to our three year old Cocker - to the point where our Cocker was clearly showing sign of stress.

[karen488]

Good for you for posting. I've obv got a small age gap between my 2 but it's going really well. Sometimes you can plan these things to perfection and it not work out. Surely there's an element of luck when introducing a 2nd dog???
Does this mean we are going to see the video of diesel singing now?

[Poppsie]

Charlene, I've been in your position but in reverse   When I lost my Poppy little Pebbles was beside herself with grief . So thinking we were doing the right thing we got a puppy to help heal her broken heart OMG how wrong we were like Diesel she was having none of it. She would jump on the pup and pin her to the floor etc, both dog and pup were stressed out (pebbles was 12yrs old). It just wasn't fair on both young and old dog, so we had to re home the pup as heart breaking as it is you really didn't have a choice so don't be too hard on yourself Your OH will come around give him a bit of time.  Welcome back x x x