I haven’t posted on here for years but am wracked with guilt after my decision to put my lovely boy to sleep on Monday.
He had cancer, an enlarged liver, he was anaemic and was on medication to try and maintain his platlate levels. He was in and out of the vets virtually every month with blood tests, scans and operations to have cancerous lumps removed, they grew in his mouth and around his eyes. He was diagnosed with his ailments last November when I nearly lost him through a minor operation due to his blood not clotting, then everything came to light.
The vets said in July he was very ill on paper but to look at him you wouldn’t have known.
He became deaf and was going blind and although tired loved his walks and food.
He got an upset stomach on Friday but I wasn’t worried, on Monday he took a real turn for the worse.
I took him to the vets and they put him on fluids and antibiotics for three hours but he didn’t perk up.
The vet suggested he probably wouldn’t ever fully recover due to his other issues.
I could have seen how he went over night but he may not have survived or put him to sleep.
The thought of him being scared and alone over night and not making it seemed worse than the alternative.
Since then I can’t get over the fact I should have tried and let him go over night in the hope as before that he pulled through. I know if he hasn’t made it I’d be feeling just as wretched but now I don’t know what the outcome could have been.
I’m now not sure why I made the decision so quickly and am really struggling. Please be kind even if you think I made the wrong choice but has anyone else been in the same boat regretting the decision and how did you cope? X