Cockers And Children - Help Please

[gc]

I get narked when we are out and childen move towards my girls (who are obviously waggy and happy) only to be dragged away by parents who are muttering 'don't touch the dog dear it might bite'. Did they ask me if my dog bites - no! Did i pull the dog away or warn the child off - no!

I feel like saying 'don't go near that child, fern , they might pull your ears or poke you in the eye!'

Keep your child under control by all means but do not accuse my dogs of biting!!!!

...............

I can't be bothered to chat with these kind of parents. I'm rather fed up. What they eventually do, is to pass their fear to the child... which eventually in this sensitive age... the fear doubles and sums up

Imagine if you tell them that your dog... sometimes licks your child...       You need a camera to keep their faces forever!
 

[Magic Star]

I think its important that parents actually ask the owner of the dog, can the children stroke the dog!  We know are dogs are OK, but not all dogs are ok, and if we don't know you, then how are we as parents supposed to know that the dog is ok around children??  As a parent and a dog lover/owner, I would NEVER let my children stroke a dog without prior asking permission off the owner.  The reason for this is my daughter (then 4) went to stroke a cocker, I asked the man was it ok, he said yes, but hes a bit nervous, next thing this dog bit my childs hand    Not fair on my daughter or the dog in question!  I think its common sence to ask before allowing children to pet dogs they don't know    

[vicking]

I agree with you totally Emma.  

[Hel]

I can't be bothered to chat with these kind of parents. I'm rather fed up. What they eventually do, is to pass their fear to the child... which eventually in this sensitive age... the fear doubles and sums up

That is a real bugbear of mine - parents who are scared of dogs who pass the terror to their kids.  A child who is scared of dogs is far more likely to be bitten, IMO.

Years ago I was walking my very old Jamie off lead in the local park area which has some narrow bits around the river.  We came to a woman with a toddler walking well ahead of her.  She had a fit - "Don't touch the dog!!!!" and then accused me of having an out-of-control dog!  Jamie hadn't even sniffed the child, he was about 3 inches in front of me, was 13 years old and was a beautiful golden cocker that all other people and kids went 'aawww' over.

The very sad thing is that this child will probably grow up terrified of dogs.

I really do hate people who do that to their children.

[Magic Star]

I can't be bothered to chat with these kind of parents. I'm rather fed up. What they eventually do, is to pass their fear to the child... which eventually in this sensitive age... the fear doubles and sums up

That is a real bugbear of mine - parents who are scared of dogs who pass the terror to their kids.  A child who is scared of dogs is far more likely to be bitten, IMO.

Years ago I was walking my very old Jamie off lead in the local park area which has some narrow bits around the river.  We came to a woman with a toddler walking well ahead of her.  She had a fit - "Don't touch the dog!!!!" and then accused me of having an out-of-control dog!  Jamie hadn't even sniffed the child, he was about 3 inches in front of me, was 13 years old and was a beautiful golden cocker that all other people and kids went 'aawww' over.

The very sad thing is that this child will probably grow up terrified of dogs.

I really do hate people who do that to their children.

I accept what you are saying completely, however, you don't know what experience the parents or the child has had of dogs in the past!  Sometimes this what would seem irrational behaviour stems from a terrible incident that anyone of them, may have had.  As a parent, we do everything possible to keep our children safe, sometimes yes, I agree people do go overboard, but like I say, we don't know their experiences and they don't know that our dogs are safe!

Sorry mods, if the thread has gone abit off topic.

No smilies again, sorry
 

[Cob-Web]

This reminds me of an incident that happened in our local forest a few weeks before Molo came home.

I took my young daughter on a trip to the forest to check it out as a possible puppy socialisation place, and obviously, we met many dog walkers and their dogs.

In a particularly dense part of the forest (we were looking for pine cones   ), with a narrow path, we were faced with a pair of off-lead Wiemeramers (?) who were bounding around happily.

As they were bigger than my daughter and she was getting increasingly nervous as they got closer, I scooped her up into my arms.

A very defensive owner said "they won't hurt, you know". Yes, I am confident that they wouldn't have  - but my daughter has no experience of dogs and may inadvertantly frighten or hurt a dog in her efforts to avoid its attention.

What I am trying to say is that when a parent tells their child to stay away from your dog, it may be that they are thinking of the well being of your doggy...........I agree that no-one should tell any child that a dog may bite though has this does reinforce any fear, and indeed, sows the seed of fear into an otherwise innocent child - as in my daughters case who was told by a nursery worker to stay away from a doggy cos it may bite when they were on a nursery outing   ...and we are still trying to undo that misconception!

[gc]

I think its important that parents actually ask the owner of the dog, can the children stroke the dog!  We know are dogs are OK, but not all dogs are ok, and if we don't know you, then how are we as parents supposed to know that the dog is ok around children??  As a parent and a dog lover/owner, I would NEVER let my children stroke a dog without prior asking permission off the owner..........

I agree. I never allow Nikolas to touch another dog unless the owner is next to it and he/she gives permission... always under my *strict* supervision. My son is still an unpredictable little explorer...'oh, is that an eye...?' --> poke!    

[padfoot]

I can't be bothered to chat with these kind of parents. I'm rather fed up. What they eventually do, is to pass their fear to the child... which eventually in this sensitive age... the fear doubles and sums up

That is a real bugbear of mine - parents who are scared of dogs who pass the terror to their kids.  A child who is scared of dogs is far more likely to be bitten, IMO.

Years ago I was walking my very old Jamie off lead in the local park area which has some narrow bits around the river.  We came to a woman with a toddler walking well ahead of her.  She had a fit - "Don't touch the dog!!!!" and then accused me of having an out-of-control dog!  Jamie hadn't even sniffed the child, he was about 3 inches in front of me, was 13 years old and was a beautiful golden cocker that all other people and kids went 'aawww' over.

The very sad thing is that this child will probably grow up terrified of dogs.

I really do hate people who do that to their children.

My neighbour is terrible for this  
She is afraid of dogs. So she insists her children of 6 and 3 are frightened of dogs.
Her 6 year old is my daughter's best friend, and when she has come over for birthday parties etc she has LOVED the dogs. She isn't afraid of them at all.
But the little boy is shoved behind his mum all the time when even a nose appears at my front door, so it'a hardly surprising he is nervous of dogs.

She also thinks dogs are unhygenic.

I don't think it's fair to do this to children. I'm frightened of spiders...but I never show it to my children. I have moved spiders with a glass and piece of paper, my heart racing inside, but saying "Nothing to worry about, just a silly spider" and they are not afraid of spiders at all now. It is possible to control your fears in front of your children.

[gc]

I accept what you are saying completely, however, you don't know what experience the parents or the child has had of dogs in the past!  Sometimes this what would seem irrational behaviour stems from a terrible incident that anyone of them, may have had.  As a parent, we do everything possible to keep our children safe, sometimes yes, I agree people do go overboard, but like I say, we don't know their experiences and they don't know that our dogs are safe!

Sorry mods, if the thread has gone abit off topic.

No smilies again, sorry

Not to be misunderstood... I'm arguing these kind of parents... not you ;-)

writing mood, good :-)
vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

True, all of us, more or less, had bad experiences with many things... I have actually been bitten by dogs three times, one of these cases I had to go to a hospital for precaution reasons...and it wasn't even my fault in two of these cases.
Many of us had little car accidents... or know ppl who have had car accidents, even fatal. Most parents do smoke in front of their children and we all know that smoke does kill... so do other things too. Have you ever heard a parent to tell their boy/girl... 'don't drive, I had an accident when I was younger'... I don't think so. And if yes, it would be one or two cases. I don't know a single one.

I respect the wish of ppl, not to touch my dog... allergies, fear, hate... whatever. But I don't like the way that it's passed to the children. Children, use us as role-models and they tend to be 'alike' us. I heard the other time some kids aged from 7 to 10 to swear at my dog... when my wife asked them why they said such things... they replied because dogs are bad and always bite... yes ofcourse... according to their parents they *do*. When my wife explained to them that dogs are not bad for such and such reasons, their behaviour towards Balu changed immediately(to a better one), we hope towards other dogs too.

Children tend to follow up us, because everything we do or say... is right (?).

According to the national board of security committe of US, the death chances are
     Car accident => 1/242
     Drowning => 1/1028
...
...
     Dog bite => 1/137694 <=

I was walking down the street last year, with my wife, Nikolas, and Balu. A man with his child on a stroller passed next to us and said something *really bad*, in front of all of us but not exactly *to* us. His child heard that. When I asked him what was the problem, he just went away... I was really annoyed, firstly because our *children* were in front of us...
Now, IMHO, what this man taught to his child:
  a) All dogs are monsters and deserve to be punished.  
  Use bad language when applicable to all animals, especially when the owners are in front...
  c) Don't stand up for your opinion. Be a coward and run away. Don't even be bothered to give a diplomatic/politically correct answer

When someone has a bad experience, he/she must pay attention and if possible to avoid it next time it occurs... learn by his/her mistake/unfortune. But passing this fear to a child, is a 'crime'. He/she must talk to his/her child how to avoid it by analysing the +and-, and be next to it, as a guarding angel. Children psychology/personality is very delicate/sensitive and is formed until the age of 6, if I remember well.

I also agree that parents do not know if our dogs are safe and eventually they wish *not* to touch it. Good... it'll be wise then for them not to allow their children to touch our dogs... but in a nice manner. ie, 'the dog is tired now, we'll come tomorrow and play with it', or find_a_good_non_fear/terror_excuse, would be ideal ;-)

I'm not a perfect parent, none is... but I try to learn from my mistakes, and listen to people who know a few things more than I do. These kind of parents tend to listen to noone for many things.

Erm... sorry this was a long post, and again, it was not intended to argue Mrsbojangles  :-) please please don't get me misunderstood...

ok, i missed Balu.. i'll go and give her a hugeeee hug, for being good to all of the children even if she is tortured and sweared!   i'll b back in a sec.

[gc]

......
She also thinks dogs are unhygenic.
......
 

they are, aren't they... they carry HIV, Hepatitis, flu, skin diseases, gum problems, miningitis, chicken pox, and many other things...  

Good thing is that they also carry a BIG BIG heart, and have a good sense of humour, and forgive all these ppl who *really* believe the above!!!  

Is she with a chlorine solution when she sees your dog???  

ok, i'm getting off the topic now... if in need, this msg can be erased by a mod. Sorry.

[gc]

...A child who is scared of dogs is far more likely to be bitten, IMO.
....

 

true. When my brother was 12 I think, he got bitten by a German Sh. We had to rush him in to a hospital and the doctors did 6-7 stiches... if I remember well. Maybe more.

He still lives with my parents, they own 2 dogs and he generally adores all dogs. Why? Because we didn't turn our 'rage' to the dog when this happened. The dog was tortured by some kids that time. My brother tried to cuddle it and... got bitten.

He wasn't afraid of the dogs after that, because we explained to him that it wasn't the dog's fault, nor his mistake (well... it was his mistake, but not 100%).

Our mistake was that we didn't explained to him at first place that we don't interact with unknown dogs unless they have our trust, blah blah blah. Well... we didn't expect that this would happen.

My father didn't sue the owners.

Handling panic situations in a diplomatic way, is the A and Z for a child.

[Hel]

I can only state my personal experience - being brought up with dogs from birth, I've never been scared of them and have never been bitten.

My grandparents had a golden cocker when I was born and up to the age when I was 3ish (1969). He had problems and bit everyone but me.  I remember clearly him suddenly jumping up and taking a chunk out of the arm of my aunt who was sitting next to me.

Despite that, no one ever suggested I should be scared of dogs.  My bitten aunt has continued to have cockers all her life, my grandmother had another dog with us young children and I will always have rescue dogs.  

[padfoot]

It's funny because I was bitten twice as a child by dogs but because my parents and people around me reacted in a matter-of-fact way, I was never scared of dogs. It would obviously have been different if I'd been savaged...but that's extremely rare anyway.
I think people sometimes do overreact to dog bites nowadays. Years ago, if a child teased a dog and it bit, the child was told it served them right.
Now, it's always the dogs fault.

[Magic Star]

George, no misunderstanding taken atall

I would never react in the ways you described, but then you know that anyway   I would still never let my children stroke a dog that I don't know, I will always seek permission off the owner, I wouldn't say "Hey does your dog bite" I say, "Is it ok, if we pet your dog"  I have no fear atall of dogs, despite being pinned against a wall by a rhodesian ridgeback when I was a kennel maid  :  

George don't worry atall, I know exactly what you are saying and I know its not aimed at me personally

Whoops now we have gone way off topic, sorry again Mods  

[padfoot]

I would still never let my children stroke a dog that I don't know, I will always seek permission off the owner, I wouldn't say "Hey does your dog bite" I say, "Is it ok, if we pet your dog"

I am the same Emma. My children know to ask before they stroke other people's dogs.