Wendy
sorry if you know this - I didn't till someone posted a link to a picture - but when people on here talk about using a "long lead" or "long line" on your dog, they DON'T mean those extendable leashes which come out of a round plastic casing with a built in handle. They mean a length of line, (often nylon webbing) about 20 to 30 metres long, which is designed to be used as a training aid. My dog (15 months) has recently started sodding round with recall and only comes back about half the time so I'm going to invest in a long line to sort this out. If I recall correctly the advice on here (I'll seach some old threads and see if I can post a link to a detailed description), you don't let your dog have any "off lead" walks - you use the long line all the time. To start with, you only use about 3 to 5 metres of the length. Call your dog back and use a treat of favourite toy/game to tempt and reward. If the dog ignores you, I think you very gently "reel him in" using the line - so he learns he can't avoid coming back. You don't punish for the failed recall - just an "oh oh" noise - but you don't reward either. Then let the line out and try again.
have to admit, it sounds like quite a lot of work and I'm not looking forward to it, but the final straw was last weekend when Paddy disappeared in the direction of the car park (and road) and would not even look in my direction. I had to count to ten to calm down I was so mad: really wanted to throttle him! So training on a long line it is.
I sympathise with you being at the end of your tether, but I have to say that once you stop thinking that a dog can think in terms of "right and wrong", you can usually remain calmer and more detached. It isn't "naughty" - it's just he's not doing what you want and so you have to teach him, calmly, kindly and patiently (HAH! when the little sod is driving you to distraction
) what it is that you DO want.
There's a great book by Jean Donaldson called "The Culture Clash" which explains so much of this and gives fantastic training guidance and I'd really recommend that you buy a copy - it's a constant reference book (ashamed to admit that I now keep it in the downstairs loo!!).
with your son's dog - are you sure that it's not that your dog is frightened of your son's dog? Often times, a dog is labelled as "aggressive" when actually it's fear that's making them aggressive - if your son's dog treats the place as his own (and he lived there for 3 years) and maybe your dog is fearful, your boy may go on the attack to get the staffy to go away. Is your dog neutered? Is the staffy cross a boy or girl? If a boy - neutered or not?
Finally, if you're finding that it's all too much, try looking for a reputable behaviourist who uses modern, kind methods (none of this dominance theory stuff or harsh methods) who could come to your house and see your dog in his home environment. He/she could then identify "cause and effect" in your dog's behaviour and in your reactions - and train you in ways to train your dog out of these habits.
if you post where you live (i.e. the town/area) then there will probably be someone on here who can give you a recommendation for a good behaviourist near to you.
Keep posting!
Denise