I've never been happy with either term - purely because of the negative associations with dominance that both words have had - BUT - the definition of the term "leader" that I was recently given on a Leadership training course defines perfectly what I think a dog needs:
Someone who guides and inspires
Although I don't like anthropomorphisms, when I think of what
I look for in a leader, it is also what I try to provide Molo (and lil'bit
):
Consistency - rules stay the same, and don't vary from day to day, or person to person
Clarity - requests/instructions/commands are clear and delivered in a way that is understood
Compassion - recognition that there are things that will affect the ability to achieveIMO, if these are in place, then a dog (or child) feels secure - which makes it a lot easier to learn new things
If I feel myself getting anxious, wound up or frustrated then I try to remember to check:
Am I being consistent (has someone else fed from from the table, which is why he is begging?)
Am I being clear? (in agility, I am learning that my body may be saying something totally different to my voice
)
Am I being compassionate? (Is there something else influencing his behaviour? Can he smell another dog, or is this a new place for him to learn?)
This works for me - but has taken me a long time to get to this point.....and I still have a long way to go before it comes as naturally as I would like it too