So upset

[Lis]

Sorry to post again so soon but I have had the most awful morning and I needed to share it with you.  We have a cleaner once a week (lucky me I know) and Dora has never really accepted her (may be an association with the hoover).  Dora always goes mad when she comes in so I keep hold of her for about 5 mins after which time they both go about their business and ignore each other.  Today the cleaner brought someone with her and I was immediately on guard (unhelpful I know but she bit the last stranger she met) .  Predictably Dora went mad (more so than usual) so I did not feel comfortable letting her go.  I therefore shut the living room door planning to move her when they got to it.  After an hour the usual cleaner came in and Dora went mad - she was sat next to me on the couch so I held on to her collar (an error I am sure).  Her reaction was so extreme that even the cleaner who is used to her shennanigans was shocked and backed away.  I stood up planning to take Dora from the room and whilst I had my back to her, holding her collar and facing the cleaner she bit the back of my leg.  I was so shocked but I managed to keep hold of her.  I took her into the bedroom where she padded around very relaxed like nothing had happened.  I do not think she intended to bite me - I think it was a case of being wound up into such a frenzy she transferred the bite that would have made its way to the cleaner to me.  The bite has marked my leg - you can see tooth marks and a bruise but I am not bleeding.  I take comfort that it was me and not the cleaner but I am very shocked that she would bite me (although not even sure she realised that she did bite me).  I feel in complete turmoil.  I do not feel like I am coping well with the situation.  Had I known a stranger was coming into the house I may have dealt with things differently (although muzzle has not arrived yet)but I still feel massively out of my depth.  I feel like I am becoming a nervous wreck and I am sure I am transferring this on to Dora.  I just don't know what to do.  I have to say hand on heart if there was someone used to dealing with dogs of Dora's nature who could be a calming stable influence willing to take her on then I would do it.  However, I don't think that is the world we live in and I cannot face any action that would ultimately result in her being put to sleep.  Mt heart and my head are constantly at war.  Really despairing. 

[Lis]

Probably should add that we are also hoping to start a family soon so I am also worried about how this will play out.  We always planned to wait until Dors was at least two years old so that she was stable and did not feel pushed out but at the moment i just can't see how this will work.   

[Karma]

If you genuinely feel you can't cope, don't write off the option of rescue - there are rescues who will take on dogs with behaviour difficulties and place them in homes with owners who are experienced. 
Don't feel you are letting Dora down by saying you can't trust her in your home - and don't feel that PTS is the only alternative.

There are members on here who are involved in some of the rescues who would be willing to find Dora a new home if that's what you feel is best for her and you.  You are obviously committed to her and your love for her has shone through in all of your posts about the difficulties you have had with her.  You are honest enough to know that your feelings and emotions are transferring onto Dora and making the situation worse, and you are not sitting there saying that she is an unmanageable dog.

It may be that this incident is just still too recent and your emotions just too raw to make a long-term decision about her future, and that posting has helped in some way.  But if, once the dust has settled, you still feel you are not the right home for her, no-one will judge you for that. 

I can't imagine how you are feeling at the minute - it must be heartbreaking for you to even be considering this - but hopefully the knowledge that there are rescues that would help (and not just PTS) will help you come to the right decision for her, you and your family. 

 

[JennyBee]

Big to you Lis, I know exactly what you are going through . It does sound like things got too much for her. I would really recommend you find a good behaviourist soon, who can talk through your options - there is still so much you can try before even thinking about that final step . Hope your legs heals soon, am thinking of you

[Poppypuppy09]

Oh Lis...I am really sorry that I dont have anything helpful to say about Dora as I am no animal behaviourist but I do want to give you a  ...you are really going through a bad time 
Take care,

Jennie xx

[nickycnc]

I've just caught up on this and your previous threads. I'm so sorry to hear about the troubles you are having with Dora and I really hope that you find a resolution soon. 

[Sarah.H]

So sorry to hear this has happened  . Millie has fear agression issues (though not as bad as Dora) and I know that having her up on the sofa with me is a definate no no as it makes her more possessive/gaurding of me. Maybe until you have reached a decision you should keep her away from strangers, maybe shutting her in your room where she seems to relax when people come round?

[Karma]

Just wanted to add - I really didn't mean my post to come across as saying that you SHOULD rehome her - just that if you truly do feel you can't go on with her it is a viable option.

I obviously genuinely hope you can find a good behaviourist who can help Dora to stay with you.  However I also know that sometimes just knowing there is a viable alternative out there can help make the current situation more bearable, as you don't feel like you are forced into a situation you don't want to be in! 

[fifer]

Fear makes them bite the nearest object/person when they are restrained, especially as you so rightly pointed out when you were holding her collar, the nearest object/person was you. 

[karenl]

it sounds like i am not the only one with similar problems , i posted yesterday about Amber and the window cleaner episode! the only thing i can add is that definitely restraining Amber makes her far worse and i can fully understand why you do and i also understand how you feel.

[coralee]

I don't have an answer for you, I'm sorry.

But, I do know from experience that tenseness around a dog can make them behave out of character. I used to be terrified if I was on my own in the house overnight when my OH was away on business - I'd jump at the slightest thing - this transferred totally over to Riker - who, in normal circumstances was the most laid back and softest dog ever. He'd get so worked up because I was worked up, that he'd go bonkers at the slightest of noises. We had to work on both of us to stop it happening.

So, I do think there could be an element of you transferring your fear on to Dora - but I'm not a behaviorist. I hope for your sake (and sanity!) that you can both work through this. Keep us up to date of your progress, and stay positive 

x

[JeffandAnnie]

I'm so sorry you're having such problems with Dora  I can't add anything to the other comments, but as with the window cleaner episode (different poster) it seems an awful cheek for the cleaner to bring a stranger into your house without prior permission - it'd be like me turning up to the office with a friend and expecting her to be allowed to sit and chat to me at my desk while I work; not on at all imo . Obviously Dora's behaviour needs to be addressed, but your instinctive reaction under pressure in a difficult situation is bound to have had a negative effect on her, so please try to see this as a catalyst for you to get professional help for Dora rather than a disaster Oh, and one of my friend's dogs bit her cleaner's finger clean off, so at least it's not as bad as that!   

[Top Barks]

hopefully you got my pm, Is there somewhere Dora can go when folks come round where she is safe and can't be disturbed or stressed ? Is she used to a crate?
As others have said, she redirected onto you as you were the nearest thing and this was done in a state of mind where most ratonal thought could not be proccessed.
Stress levels can also take a long time to return to normal after such events and also the effects of stress are cumulative so if a dog is stressed day after day the stress levels are never given chance to return to normal.
Call me next week when i'm home if you like