Serious Aggression - Desperately need advice - updated

[Gordo]

We've just had the allergy test results back for Lily -- she's allergic to mites, including dust mites from the house  .  The vet is arranging for more indepth tests to be done due to her age and we'll see what this shows up.  (Tip from us - get your dog insured!!! There would be no way we could afford all this if Lily wasn't!  They might chuck us out next year or our payments will increase greatly!!)

On the whole, Lily is much better, but we've still got issues with her when we dry her with a towel and try to brush her, and then she becomes very snarley and growley, she does lunge at us, but nothing like she did.  Think we're going to have to introduce this back to her in the same way we've been stroking her - 1 stroke of the brush, as long as no growls she can have some food.  Same with the towel, but think we may have to use a smaller towel as just seeing it winds her up -- my mum has suggested using kitchen roll made into a pad, which is what she does with her dog.  However, now, as quickly as it escallates, she calms down, so that's got to be progress!  Also, if we fuss her and she needs to scratch, she will growl, lunge etc, but after having a good scratch, will happily sit and be fussed.

Thanks once again for the support and well wishes - can't believe where we were with her a couple of weeks ago cpmpared to now!!

[bluegirl]

Glad you are getting somewhere. Guess it makes sense, if you had an itch and someone was tickling you it would make it worse and you'd want to scratch it even more. Probably learning to watch her signals will be a great way of assessing how she is and whether or not its a good time for interacting with her.

As for the towels you could also try those small micro towels for cleaning with they are the size of a duster but can hold up to something like 2-3 times their weight in water so could soak up the moisture better, but still very small. You can also buy larger ones and just throw it over her basket and let it soak up the moisture after she has been for a walk, or is just wet when she's not in the mood to be towel dried.

[Karma]

Glad to hear things are still improving - and if her allergies have been adding to her problems then at least there will be some relief in sight for that!

I agree with the gradually introducing the comb and towel... 

And don't worry about your insurance... pet insurance works on set factors of risk (age, breed etc) not the number of previous claims... 

[Gordo]

Update:-

Unfortunately things have deteriorated with Lily -- she's bitten hubby today, really without provocation.  He went to put her lead on, she growled to warn him off, so when she calmed down, he was practicing reintroducing the lead to her with click-treat and she seemed ok with this, but as soon as he touched her collar to get to the loop to the top of her neck, she bit him on the arm with no warning growl   She has also been very growly ever since about anything and everything

It's a real set back for us as she was doing so well - we could put her lead on/take it off/fuss her around her collar etc.  We've been back in touch with her breeder as we both think that she is affecting my health  - may sound weird, but I'm so stressed out with it all and am exhausted so picking up everything.  We also can't trust her around our nephew and neice, and we also want to have a family (starting fertility treatment this month) and I just don't know how I can cope with her anymore    Obviously, rehoming her would be our last resort but I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel     

[Mudmagnets]

I am sorry to read your update - specially when you thought things were improving   Sending you support and good wishes. When it is affecting your own health that is not good.

[cdpops]

So sorry you have had a set back, it's a horrible feeling when you feel there's little hope.
Sending you and lily lots of positive thoughts I hope things improve.

[jann]

  Oh dear I am sorry to hear about this set back 

I can sense your despair,   it must be heartbreaking when you have put so much effort into  helpng Lily !

I hope your behaviourist can still come up with some way to overcome her problems, but whatever you decide to do nobody could have tried harder 

Thinking of you

Jann and Flo 

[JennyBee]

Really sorry to here this, things were looking so positive for a while, you must be so worried . I really hope you can get to the bottom of Lily's problems and get your lovely girl back, I am thinking of you

[Karma]

It's understandable that you feel so demoralised, but overcoming Lilly's behaviour was never going to be a steady improvement... there will be days when you feel you are going backwards again, but as long as overall progress is in the right direction, then you will get there in the end.

She may have been tired today, or just in a bad mood, but this doesn't negate all the positives you have posted...

It's so soul destroying when you do have that bad day, but tomorow is a whole new day... go back to the beginning in your handling of her and you will find you progress so much quicker this time around.... 

[SkyeSue]

It's understandable that you feel so demoralised, but overcoming Lilly's behaviour was never going to be a steady improvement... there will be days when you feel you are going backwards again, but as long as overall progress is in the right direction, then you will get there in the end.

She may have been tired today, or just in a bad mood, but this doesn't negate all the positives you have posted...

It's so soul destroying when you do have that bad day, but tomorow is a whole new day... go back to the beginning in your handling of her and you will find you progress so much quicker this time around.... 

Ditto what Karma said. Try not to be too disheartened, also, if you are finding it stressful, this will also affect Lilly, I would imagine. Stay strong and calm, and see what tomorrow brings 

[Joules]

It's understandable that you feel so demoralised, but overcoming Lilly's behaviour was never going to be a steady improvement... there will be days when you feel you are going backwards again, but as long as overall progress is in the right direction, then you will get there in the end.

She may have been tired today, or just in a bad mood, but this doesn't negate all the positives you have posted...

It's so soul destroying when you do have that bad day, but tomorow is a whole new day... go back to the beginning in your handling of her and you will find you progress so much quicker this time around.... 

Ditto what Karma said. Try not to be too disheartened, also, if you are finding it stressful, this will also affect Lilly, I would imagine. Stay strong and calm, and see what tomorrow brings 

I agree - it must be so upsetting when you have allowed youself to think that the worst is behind you. You have come so far and done so much for your little girl, but it was never going to be a quick fix.    I hope things are better tomorrow.

[Ninasmum]

Totally agree with Karma.

Tomorrow is another day and please don't give up on her.     Thinking of you all and sending positive thoughts. 

[Gordo]

We knew Lily wouldn't be a 'quick fix', but she was worse today than she's ever been - that's the worst un-warned bite she's ever done, if fact she's never done an unwarned bite before 

We also understand that she may pick up on the stress I'm feeling, but I'm also finding it very difficult to not be stressed when her behaviour has gone so extreme again

We've e-mailed David (behaviourist) and he'll hopefully get back to us very soon.

We really don't want to give up on Lily as we both love her to bits and have put in so much work with her, but I wonder what else we can do?    Yes, tomorrow is another day, but whenever she is like this, it is so difficult to trust her and then the question arises, 'will we ever be able to trust her?' and what about around kids? (thinking of fertility treatment here which will hopefully work, fingers crossed)  I'm sitting here crying as I just don't know what to do next 

[cdpops]

I remember feeling exactly as you are now, I think I cried every night for a week, and tearing myself in 2 about keeping Charlie or re-homing him, I often felt he would be better with people who have more experience than me and I still think that now at times. It is tough and any improvement is so very gradual, but I believe that a dog will always resort to biting once they have done it as it works  , it is about careful control of their environment etc.
Please don't beat yourself up you are doing all you can and if you decide to re-home Lily then you can do so knowing you really tried hard for her.
Hugs and positive thoughts being sent your way 

[bracken]

sorry I have no advice just wanted to say I am thinking of you 

Jo x